IT'S SPEEDRUN TIME!!!During the opening video, the music is playing and Harry is glaring, trying to get around Cybil. He honks his horn.
Harry: "Come on, dang it! Go faster! Ahh, this is taking too long!"
Harry turns the car and smashes it into a wall.
The FMV of Harry waking. He doesn't take the time to glance over and see if Cheryl is gone but instead just kicks open his door and starts running.
Harry: (gasping) "Cheryl,isthatCheryl.Whereareyougoing?"
Cheryl is walking slowly.
Harry: "Hey! Hurry up!"
Cheryl starts running, and Harry runs after her really fast. He catches up to her and starts pushing her.
Harry: "Come on! Come on! I don't have all day here! I'm trying to beat 41 minutes and 52 seconds!"
Cheryl: (breathing heavily) "Daddy, I'm tired."
Harry kicks her.
Harry: "Keep going!"
Harry runs into the alley after Cheryl, eventually gets sick of her, and just knocks her down and keeps going.
It gets dark. Harry tries to light a match and it snaps.
Harry: "Damn it!"
He lights another one.
Subtitle: BetterthannothingIguess.
He runs to the end.
Harry: "Whatisthis?What'sgoingonhere?"
The demon children appear.
Harry: "Come on! Come on! Hurry up! Kill me! Oh, I'll do it myself!"
Harry takes one of their knives and stabs himself.
He wakes up in the cafe.
Cybil: "How do you feel?"
Harry: "Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just give me your gun."
Cybil: "What?"
Harry: "Damn it, I'm running late here!"
Harry takes the kitchen knife of the counter and kills Cybil, then takes the Handgun.
Harry: "That'll save some time later, boss-fight wise too."
He runs around, collecting the items as fast as he can. He gets to the radio and tries to take it.
Subtitle: Is it broken? Can't hear anything.
Harry: "G*ddammit!"
Harry pulls on the radio as hard as he can. It breaks loose, taking half the table with it. He goes to the door.
Subtitle: I'm afraid we can't let you do that, Harry. You're breaking the rules.
Harry: "I don't care!"
He goes up to one of the windows and bangs on it. It won't break. He grabs a TV and chucks it. The window smashes and Harry goes through the glass.
Demon bird: !?
Harry: "Uh oh."
Harry starts running, the demon bird chases him.
Suddenly, Pyramid Head shows up, in sunglasses.
PH: (taking off sunglasses) "You're breaking the rules, Harry. You've gotta follow the programming. If you don't, you'll regret it."
Harry: "What the hell is this? A sci-fi movie!?"
Harry shoves Pyramid Head down and keeps running.
A car shows up. Akira Yamaoka is driving. Cheryl is in the back seat.
Cheryl: "There he is! GET HIM!"
Harry: "Holy sh*t!"
Harry ducks back into the alley. The car follows, smashing through the gate. Harry turns quickly and the car crashes into a wall. Akira goes through the winshield.
Cheryl: "You killed Akria Yamaoka! You bastard!"
Harry twiddles his fingers in shocked guilt for a moment, and then keeps running.
Cheyrl gets on a cell phone.
Cheryl: "This is SullivanFangirl63. Change the programming and send all enemies to the position of the alley at once! It's an emergency!"
Harry grabs the steel pipe and runs back. He picks Cheryl up and keeps running.
Harry: "If anyone tries to stop me, she dies!"
Cheryl tries to knee him in the groin.
Harry: "Ha! You think I didn't know this was going to happen. I'm wearing a cup!"
As Harry runs, he tries to think of what he absolutely, possitively needs to do to get to the end of the game.
Harry: "So let's see, I can't kill Dahlia, I shouldn't kill Lisa, and I can't k..." (glances down at Cheryl) "Umm, I mean..."
Cheryl:
"HE CAN'T KILL ME OR THE GAME WON'T END RIGHT!! GET HIM!!!"
Realizing he doesn't need Cheryl anymore, Harry chucks her and keeps running.
TO BE CONTINUED . . .