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Post by Lolli on Sept 16, 2009 13:06:31 GMT
Cybil and Harry are on a date. Everything is going well until the waiter arrives to take their order.
Waiter: What will it be?
Harry: I'll have some Shit Ache mushrooms please with a glass of Char-Donnie, sill-vu-plate.
Waiter: Very good sir, and for the lady.
Cybil: Just bring me something smothered in alcohol.
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Post by dreggnog on Sept 20, 2009 6:08:32 GMT
One of the Demon Children pulls down Harry's pants and uses its knife to cut a Z into his condom.
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Post by Lolli on Oct 2, 2009 14:33:33 GMT
Harry and Cybil are walking down the street.
Harry: This is taking forever, I wish there was some way we could find Cheryl easier.
Harry spots a telephone box.
Harry: Aha! I've got it! *Dialling* Hello, Duke Nukem? Yes I'm trying to find my daughter.
Cybil: .....Why would Duke Nukem want to help you find your daughter?
At that moment Duke Nukem comes barging by, shooting down the dogs and airscreamers.
Cybil:....This is worse than that incident with the talking bush.
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Post by dreggnog on Oct 2, 2009 15:53:05 GMT
Harry: "Huh? Radio. What's going on with that radio?"
Harry reaches for the radio.
Tom Cruiz smashes through the window and tackles Harry.
Harry: "Okay, this sort of thing is why people think you're a little nuts."
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Post by Lolli on Oct 3, 2009 9:20:26 GMT
Cybil: Okay, so we've come to the conclusion that Duke Nukem isn't going to help you find your daughter. I knew that as soon as I saw him eyeing the nurses at the hospital. So what do we do now?
Harry: I know, we'll contact that child snatcher from that horrendous movie!
Cybil: Chitty Chitty Bang bang?
Harry: Yep that's the one.
Later, a little carriage pulls up and the pervert child snatcher comes out holding lollipops.
Child Snatcher: Lollipops children!
Harry: This plan will work like a charm, I'm sure of it.
A group of demon children wander over to the child snatcher and begin mauling him to death.
Cybil: You were saying?
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Post by blacky on Oct 7, 2009 16:52:01 GMT
*Harry from Shattered Memories is looking for Cheryl, he gets his fancy phone out and dails*
Harry: "Hey Cheryl! Where are you? Really? You don't say!........You don't say! Wow, you don't say!"
*He puts his phone away*
Cybil: "Well where is she?"
Harry: "She didn't say"
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Post by Kiryū Kazuma on Oct 15, 2009 19:35:54 GMT
Harry having finally found Cheryl
Harry "huh cheryl?........"
Cybil "no harry no thats her"
Cheryl "facepalm"
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Post by dreggnog on Oct 16, 2009 6:29:37 GMT
*Harry from Shattered Memories is looking for Cheryl, he gets his fancy phone out and dails* Harry: "Hey Cheryl! Where are you? Really? You don't say!........You don't say! Wow, you don't say!" *He puts his phone away*Cybil: "Well where is she?" Harry: "She didn't say" Dude, this was torturing me. I remembered this line so well but then couldn't remember what it was from, and then right when I pressed 'quote' I remembered Bugs Bunny.
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Post by blacky on Oct 24, 2009 23:05:25 GMT
Cybil: "Harry what are doing? besides from not looking for Cheryl I mean!"
Harry: "I am building a time machine!"
Cybil: "...............................a time machine"
Harry: "Yes! A time machine will sort this finding Cheryl thing out for once and for all!"
*Before Cybil could facepalm Harry jumps into the time machine and arrives at silent hill just after Harry crashed his car*
Past Harry: "Cheryl? Where's Cheryl?"
Present Harry: "You don't know this yet, but trying to find Cheryl will be too much work, just forget about her and go to the themepark for icecream instead, oh and if you meet a female cop, deny everything!"
Past Harry: "Who the hell are you?"
Present Harry: "I am Harry"
Past Harry: "But I am Harry!"
Present Harry: "Well I am clearly the real Harry"
Past Harry: "No your not! I am the real Harry!"
Present Harry: "No I am!"
Past Harry: "No I am!"
Present Harry: "I am!"
Past Harry: "I am!"
Present Harry: "I am!"
Past Harry: "I am!"
Reality: "Oh shit, there's two of them now"
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Post by Lolli on Oct 25, 2009 11:48:05 GMT
At the hosptal.
Harry: Hey Kaufman have you seen those crazy nurses back there! They were trying to kill me.
Kaufman: Yep, they'll do that, it's that time of the month.
Harry: But what about the male doctor.
Kaufman: It was his time of the month too.
Harry: But...
Kaufman begins bleeding down his leg and a wet patch appears near his groin.
Kaufman: Oh great, now it's my time of the month.
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Post by dreggnog on Oct 25, 2009 12:05:44 GMT
^ Harry puts a midol pill into his gun and shoots Kaufman in the crotch. Harry: "That should take care of that!"
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Post by Kiryū Kazuma on Oct 27, 2009 20:04:15 GMT
Cybil: "Harry what are doing? besides from not looking for Cheryl I mean!" Harry: "I am building a time machine!" Cybil: "...............................a time machine" Harry: "Yes! A time machine will sort this finding Cheryl thing out for once and for all!" *Before Cybil could facepalm Harry jumps into the time machine and arrives at silent hill just after Harry crashed his car* Past Harry: "Cheryl? Where's Cheryl?" Present Harry: "You don't know this yet, but trying to find Cheryl will be too much work, just forget about her and go to the themepark for icecream instead, oh and if you meet a female cop, deny everything!" Past Harry: "Who the hell are you?" Present Harry: "I am Harry" Past Harry: "But I am Harry!" Present Harry: "Well I am clearly the real Harry" Past Harry: "No your not! I am the real Harry!" Present Harry: "No I am!" Past Harry: "No I am!" Present Harry: "I am!" Past Harry: "I am!" Present Harry: "I am!" Past Harry: "I am!" Reality: "Oh shit, there's two of them now" haha made me chuckle
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Post by dreggnog on Oct 28, 2009 20:41:10 GMT
Harry watches in horror as blood comes out from Lisa's pores. He runs out of the room and shuts the door. He can hear her crying. Slowly but bravely, he turns around and opens the door.
Lisa leaps out from behind the door and pins Harry down.
Lisa: "What the hell, Harry!? What the hell!?"
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Post by blacky on Oct 31, 2009 2:23:59 GMT
Present Harry: "Okay, if your really Harry, then what is your best selling book?"
Past Harry: "Nibble the little hamster"
Present Harry: "Damn! That's right!"
Past Harry: "And if your Harry, then how old was you by the time you stopped sucking on a pacifier?"
Present Harry: "Twenty five!"
Past Harry: "Shit! That's correct!"
Present Harry: "Hmmmm, mabye we both are the real Harry then?"
Past Harry: "Yeah! Two Harrys are awsome!"
Present Harry: "Hey, I know what would be fun!"
*Elsewhere Past Cybil has just walked into town*
Past Cybil: "I wonder where everyone has gone?"
*Present Harry comes up behind her and kicks her in the ass, before running off giggling*
Past Cybil: "Ouch! What the fuck? Hey you! Your under arrest!"
*Her having turned round, Past Harry sneaks up and also kicks her in the ass before running off giggling*
Past Cybil: "Ouch! Hey you!.........what the hell?"
*Her having turned round again Present Harry sneaks back up again and Kicks her in the ass again before running off*
Past Cybil: "Hey stop that you two!"
*And Past Harry sneaks up and kicks her in the ass, and the cycle goes on*
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Post by Lolli on Nov 1, 2009 0:03:24 GMT
Henry is at home when he hears a knocking on his door. Looking through his peephole he sees some trick or treaters.
Henry: I'm sorry I can't open my door.
Harry: *Dressed as a pumpkin* Sob ;_;
Cheryl: It's ok dad, some people are just rude like that.
Later on, Harry knocks on James's door.
James: Aren't you a little old to be trick or treating?
Cheryl: Erm...He's special needs.
Laura: James, I want to go trick or treating too!
James: I told you no!
Laura: I'll tell social services you touched me.
James: *Sigh* Fine let's go.
Even later Harry comes across the time machine Blacky mentioned and goes into the future. He knocks on future Harry's door. Future Harry opens the door dressed as a pumpkin.
Harry: Trick or treat.
Cheryl: *To Future Harry* Aren't you a little old to be trick or treating?
Heather: Some things never change.
Future Harry: I wanna gooooooo!
Heather and Cheryl: *Sigh*
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