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Post by Vaan-Knight on Aug 26, 2009 21:00:04 GMT
James finds Maria locked up in the cell at the labyrinth.James: Maria?! you're alive?! I thought that thing killed you!! Maria: What are you talking about? James: Just before! don't you remember? he grabbed your hair like this! *James does as he says*Maria: Ouch! let me go!! it hurts! James: And then... and then he took out a huge spear, just like this one *shows rusty spear* and he stabbed you like this! Maria: *gasp* whoa... OK, I remember now... just put the spear dow-- IMPALEMENT SOUNDMaria: Ugh... James: Yeah! that's the same thing you said back then! I bet you remember now! Maria: x___x James: Yeah, that is the face you made!! sheesh, It was soooo gruesome, I'll never forget it ...Aw, I know you remember, you don't have to keep pretending! ...Maria? James stares at Maria's body, lying on a pool of her own blood.James: Oh, not again... It's like that time when I was telling Mary about the dream I had about a pillow...
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Post by dreggnog on Aug 27, 2009 22:02:52 GMT
There was a hole here, it's gone now.
James: "Well, where the hell'd it go!?"
Ringo: (walking outside) "I've got a hole in me pocket."
James runs outside and starts beating up Ringo Starr.
(Post 150)
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Post by Kiryū Kazuma on Aug 30, 2009 18:32:05 GMT
As james sticks his hand down the toilet to retrieve the wallet with safe code
James - This is madness!! no this is bloody poo water!!
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Post by blacky on Aug 30, 2009 21:24:10 GMT
*James is minding his own business when Pyramid head comes around the corner. But instead of Pyramid's usual garb he is wearing a shirt with cleavage showing off real breasts, a skirt, and his head is now a metalic pink with gloss*
James: "Why?"
Pyramid head: "The creators want a larger market, darling, so now the rating is being lowered."
James: "How does you being female lower the rating?"
Pyramid head: "Whatever I do to you from now on will be considered less offensive than It would of been had I been male, after all a man can't be sexually abused by a woman, now can't you honey?"
James: "That's not true and you know it"
Pyramid head: "Hey I am not the one who came up with this double standard, babe."
Angus: "Yeah look at me, they turned me from Angela to Angus, now it's my mom abusing me, but because I am male the situration will be considered less offensive"
Pyramid head: "Damn straight!"
*Pyramid head pulls out a whip and turns to James*
Pyramid head: "Now sweetie, bend over and take it like a man!"
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Post by dreggnog on Aug 31, 2009 22:17:58 GMT
After defeating the final boss, James stands panting and bleeding.
Akira Yamaoka: "Congratulations! You beat our game! You win a ten dollar gift ceritificate to JC Penny's!"
James takes the gift certificate and looks at it, then at Akira.
James: "I'm gonna punch you into the sun, ya f*ckin' bastard."
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Post by Lolli on Sept 1, 2009 9:50:58 GMT
How do you solve a problem like Maria? How do you find the perfect place to start? How do you find a word that means Maria? A Pyramid Head! A spear right through the heart!
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Post by dreggnog on Sept 1, 2009 21:38:25 GMT
Pyramid Head leaps out of nowhere in an ape mask.
PH: "Bogga bogga bogga!"
James: "AHHHH!! HOLY MASTURBATING SEACOW, BATMAN!!!
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Post by blacky on Sept 4, 2009 3:20:29 GMT
*James finds Maria in the park*
James: "Mary?"
*Maria turns and smiles. James runs up to her, knock her down, pulls out a pillow from his inventory and starts smothering her *
James: "Damn bitch! When I kill you, you stay dead!"
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Post by dreggnog on Sept 5, 2009 18:45:30 GMT
Pyramid Head: "First he walks in on my sex scene and shoots at me, then he walks in on my other sex scene and shoots at me, and then he runs of with my Great Knife! Oh, when I find him I'm gonna kill him and put him in that nice grave I dug just for him. Now, where the hell is he!?"
James is lying on his back, perfectly alive, in the grave that was made for him.
James: "He'll never think to look here."
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Post by blacky on Sept 7, 2009 0:55:08 GMT
Pyramid head: "Nurse, I know your not a doctor, but can you operate on me?"
Nurse: "What sort of operation?"
Pyramid head: "Well I heared a rumor about a Marilyn Manson and..."
Nurse: "NO!"
Pyramid head: "I only want you to just remove two ribs....."
Nurse: "NO!"
Pyramid head: "How else can I bend over and suck....."
Nurse: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Pyramid head: "Fine! I'll just bang you instead!"
Nurse: "......................................I'll get the bone saw"
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Post by dreggnog on Sept 7, 2009 13:30:10 GMT
James walks into the hospital basement room. There are red handprints on the shelf. He picks up the shotgun shells on the floor. He puts his hands on his hips.
James: "Well, I guess there's nothing else for me to get here."
Demon Children: "A clue, a clue!"
James: "Stew? No, my names not Stew, it's James. See? It's on the back of the game case."
Children: (sounding like they have to pee) "Noo! A clue, a clue!"
James: "Damn it chitlens, Konami owns you and they'll decide when they wants to feed ya!"
Children: G*ddammit, there's a motherf*cking clue right behind you, you wife-killing asswh*le!!!"
James: (looks behind him) " . . . Oh . . . I knew that."
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Post by blacky on Sept 10, 2009 2:49:32 GMT
*James finds the hole in the apartments, reaches his arm into it and.......*James: "Oh oh..........I think my arm's stuck!" Pyramid head: "What are you up to there?" James: "I am stuck! I can't move!" Pyramid head: "Oh really?" *Pyramid head pulls James' pants down and lifts up his robe*James: "ARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!" *Later on................* Maria: "Are okay? you are walking funny" James: "Pay no attention to it, please"
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Post by dreggnog on Sept 20, 2009 6:04:04 GMT
James and Maria are running in the Other Hospital corridors and Pyramid Head is chasing them. James stops and lets Maria pass. Then he brings up the steel pipe and uses it like a staff.
James: "YOU...SHALL NOT...PASS!!!"
Maria runs into the elevator. James tries to follow, but the elevator doors shut and PH impales James on the Great Knife. Sad piano music starts up and Maria falls to her knees.
Maria: "After that awesome death if he comes back I'm gonna be super p*ssed."
Maria meets a black man with blond hair behind prison cell bars in the labyrith.
Maria: "James?"
James: "James? Yes . . . that is what they used to call me. James the white. ...I am James the Black. Don't you wanna touch me? I can't do anything through these bars."
Maria: "Oh this has gotta be like Jerry Springer's wet dream."
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Post by Lolli on Sept 20, 2009 13:36:25 GMT
James is in the labyrinth, where he meets Maria stuck behind some bars.
James: Maria, Maria! Help, I'm stuck behind these bars!
Maria: No James, I'm the one who's....
James: Help help!
Maria: For Christs sake...
Maria gets up and leaves the cell to go and rescue James. A little mouse wanders by.
James: *Picking up mouse* Hello little buddy, you can be my friend while I'm trapped here. I think I'll call you Mr. Jingles.
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Post by blacky on Sept 20, 2009 14:14:52 GMT
*It's karaoke night at Heaven's Night club and Pyramid head is on stage*Pyramid head: "They say we're young and we don't know We won't find out until we grow" Pyramid head's crotch: "Well I don't know if all that's true 'Cause you got me, and baby I got you" Both Pyramid head and his crotch: "Babe, I got you babe, I got you babe" Audience:
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