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Post by dreggnog on Aug 3, 2009 19:44:12 GMT
At 2nd Subway, Henry and Elieen see Walter. He points a gun at them. Henry thrusts forth his palm.
Henry: "I summon Thomas!"
Walter: "Thomas?"
A blue smiley-faced train comes out of nowhere and smashes into Walter.
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Post by Lolli on Aug 6, 2009 14:03:01 GMT
That was great eggnog, I really liked that one XD
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Post by dreggnog on Aug 7, 2009 4:51:53 GMT
Elieen: "I'm cursed. And the more hurt I get, the more cursed I get."
Henry: "Wait, does that mean you can't die!?"
Elieen: "Um, yeah, I guess that i-hey, what are you doing!?"
Henry picks her up, puts her in a catuapult and launches her towards Walter.
Henry: "Keep him busy! I'm gonna go look for some items!"
After a few minutes, Henry gets bored and goes home to watch Ren and Stimpy.
Henry: "You think she'll be mad when I get back?"
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Post by Lolli on Aug 7, 2009 14:56:11 GMT
Henry and Eileen are in apartment world. Henry enters Eileen's apartment.Eileen: Hold on a second Henry, I need to use the bathroom. Ten minutes later.Henry: *Wearing Eileen's bra and looking into a mirror* Oooh, I'm so sexy, you like that? Yeah I bet you do. Oooh, I'm such a pretty lady. Eileen: *Stood in doorway*
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Post by dreggnog on Aug 7, 2009 17:58:34 GMT
Two years later...
Henry wakes up to find his door in chains.
Henry: "Dang it Walter! This wasn't funny the last time and it's not funny now!"
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Post by Kiryū Kazuma on Aug 8, 2009 13:04:51 GMT
Two years later... Henry wakes up to find his door in chains. Henry: "Dang it Walter! This wasn't funny the last time and it's not funny now!" Henry finds a hole again and goes through it into the subway again. Sees cynthia again Cynthia "now henry that special favour......" Henery "............" Cynthia "you'd think he'd learn 'facepalm'"
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Post by dreggnog on Aug 8, 2009 14:14:04 GMT
Cynthia: "I'll do a special favor for you later."
Henry: "Okay!"
(five minutes later)
Henry: (from inside of bathroom) "I'm ready for that special favor now!"
Cynthia walks in to find Henry completly naked, facing away from her and holding a razor.
Henry: "So yeah, I'm gonna need you to shave me."
Cynthia: "I . . . I . . . what!? I meant I was going to have sex with you!"
Henry: "Oh . . . I thought that I got to choose the special favor."
Cynthia: "You're disappointed?"
Henry: "No, no, I'm not! I mean, you're hot, its just . . . I just can't shave back there, ya know?"
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Post by Vaan-Knight on Aug 8, 2009 20:36:03 GMT
Henry finds Walter stalking him while wandering around in the Silent Hill woods. Walter: MWAHAHAHAHA!!! *chainsaw roars" Henry: Hey wait a second... I recall in the old forum there was a thread that claimed you turned into my apartment door whenever I went there... So if you're here right now... the door is not there, right? Walter: ...What do you mean? *chainsaw off* Henry starts running towards the nearest hole as fast as he can, Walter is startled and freezes for a moment but eventually follows Henry. Walter: Oh shit!! he's gonna get away!! Henry arrives to the apartment before Walter and walks out the empty space where the door should have been into the normal real world. Henry: HA!! I made it! I can't believe I'm free!! Walter: (from inside the apartment) Oh damn! Henry escaped! oh well, at least he left here his german porn collection! Henry: Oh noes!! Henry walks inside the apartment again, and Walter takes his usual position as the main door. "Ha! you're an idiot" -Walter Henry: F**k... The worse part is that I don't even have a german porn collection...
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Post by dreggnog on Aug 9, 2009 0:58:42 GMT
LOL, Vaan-Knight, that's your best joke ever
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Henry is taking a dump in his bathroom. He turns his head to look through the hole.
Henry: "Boy, I sure hope sexy girls with camera aren't watching me take a crap!"
Patients: "Aww, you caught us!"
Henry: "Uhh, great."
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Henry finds the hole for the first time.
Henry: "Huh? I wonder where this could lead to."
He crawls through it.
Henry: "Oh, into the apartment next to mine. Duh."
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Henry is in the apartment world. He sees Walter come out of his door.
Walter: "Hey." (walks away)
Henry tries the door. It won't budge.
Henry: "Now how the hell-!?"
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Post by blacky on Aug 9, 2009 2:00:22 GMT
*Jasper is burning to death*
Henry: "YEEEEEEEEEAAAHHHHOHHH! YOUR SEX IS ON FIRE!"
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Post by Lolli on Aug 9, 2009 10:47:53 GMT
Seconded, so funny XD
LOL XD
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Henry: Look at that huge bitch!
Henry on the patient demons.
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Post by dreggnog on Aug 10, 2009 0:41:23 GMT
Two dogs come out of the bathroom. One of them latches onto Henry's arm.
Henry: "AHHHHHH!! SOMEONE HELP ME!!!"
Dog Whisperer: "No, no, you're doing it all wrong. You can't show fear. You need to show dominance. Here, let me show you."
DW puts fingers on dog's neck. "Tsst." The dog gets down and DW start's rubbing its belly.
DW: "See, even animals that seem viscous can be trained. All dogs are really the same. Now you try."
Henry reaches forward towards the dog. The dog latches onto his other arm.
Henry: "AHHHHHH!! AHHHHHH!! WHAT AM I DOING WRONG!?"
DW: "You've gotta be dominant!"
Henry: (screams in dog's face) "I'M DOMINANT OVER YOU!!"
The dog bites onto Henry's face.
Henry: "AHHHHHHHH!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"
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Post by blacky on Aug 13, 2009 3:20:39 GMT
Henry: "People say I have no personality, but that's not true! I like pictures damn it! Pictures! It may be one dementional but it's something at least! Just look at these pictures I've made"
*henry walks to his desk, his pictures are missing*
Henry: "Arrrghhh! my personality! Where is it? I've lost my personality!"
Harry: "Wow, and I thought I was bad at losing things"
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Post by Kiryū Kazuma on Aug 16, 2009 10:15:19 GMT
Henry looking through the peep hole
Eileen "mmm where is that brush? ah there it is"
as eileen turn away lets out a big one
Eileen "oops curry was good last night"
Henry on the otherside half unconcious
Henry "What the hell..... a girl passed wind thats one myth busted........ dam showing to much emotion again"
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Post by dreggnog on Aug 16, 2009 19:56:00 GMT
An ANGRY Production
Henry is nine years old and standing on the front porch by his best friend. Henry: I don't care! I'm running away! BF: But Henry, you can't! What about your parents? Henry: I don't care! I don't want to move away! I'm leaving right now! BF: Henry, I know you feel- Henry: I don't feel anything anymore. I don't have any feelings or emotins. Goodbye! (runs away) BF: Oh no! Henry!
Up in the clouds, a fat man shakes his head solemnly while a happy star dances around him. Fat Man: Poor Henry, I think he could use some friends to cheer him up, don't you? And I know just the fuzzy wuzzies to do it. Lets go to Carealot, where the Care Bears live.
After a theme song which just wastes time while henry gets farther away, the Care Bears get together. Tender Love: What are we going to do? Grumpy: This is a bad situation. Sunshine: I only cost $19.99 at Wal-Mart! T Love: I think I should go to resolve this. Birthday: No, me! Luck: Me! Sleepy: (snores) T Love: How about we all go?
The Care Bears ride down in their little cloud cars to meet Henry's best friend. Sunshine: Hi there, Suzie! Birthday: I bet you're wondering how we all know your name. BF: My name is Meranda. But that's not important, what's important is that we find Henry before it's too late! He ran away from home! Grumpy: That sucks. T Love: What are we going to do? Sunshine: $19.99 (waves arms in circles as weird spiral appears) Just $19.99. Sleepy: (yawning) We've gotta go after him. All: Right!
GOTTA HUG 'EM ALL! GOTTA HUG 'EM ALL! CARE BEARS!
The Care Bears follow Henry's scent to the gates leading into a creepy park. Meranda: Oh no, what is that!? Flowers: Those gates lead into The Land Devoid of Emotions. Uh oh, I hope he didn't go in! Rainbow: (reads from cue card) That is not a good place to be. Not a good place at all. Fountain: Well, hello there. Are you squirts looking for that boy who doesn't care about anything and says What the hell? a lot. Birthday: (gasp) We're not allowed to say that on this show! Fountain: He went into the park. Sunshine: All right, let's go!
Inside the park... Henry is riding in the hotrod of a man named Walter Sullivan. Henry: Hey, do you live up in that castle! Walter: I do. Why do you ask? I thought you didn't care about anything. Henry: Well, it's just, how many people can say they own a freaking castle! Walter: Hold up a sec, kid. Walter pints a gun out the window and blows the head off a small animal. Henry: W-what was that? Walter: Does it matter? Henry: No, of course not! I don't care! Walter: Let me give you a word of advice, kid. Don't mess with subliminal adverising. Henry: ?
GOTTA HUG 'EM ALL! THAT MEANS BUY 'EM ALL! CARE BEARS!
The Care Bears are waddling through the park/forest/evil land place. They pass emo trees and rocks that are cutting themselves and pretending not to care about anything. Luck Bear is honding a Sunshine Bear plushie. Birthday: Where did you get that? Luck: I bought it at Wal-Mart! Sun: It doesn't look anything like me!
Eventually the Care Bears get to Ed Sullivan's Castle of Darkness, which Walter happened to acquire through a contract flaw. Walter: Ahh! Those bears are fuzzy and care too much about things, and they're fuzzy! I must kill them! Henry: (stoned expression) What the hell? Meranda: Oh no! What did you do to Henry!? Walter: I gave him some pot. Now he doesn't care about anything. T Love: You're evil and cruel! And unpleasent! Walter: Do you want to know why I'm unpleasant!? My mother was a prostitute. One time, a man shoved a chair leg up her ass and it pierced my soul. She died giving birth to me and I had to live by eating her flesh, just enough at a time to stal alive. As a toddler I went to work for Disney World and while I'm not allowed to say anything against the fine coorporation of Disney I'm sure you've heard stories and they're all true. In elementary shcool the kids beat me up. In middle school they fondoled me and called me a gayway. In junior high, they sodomised me. In high school, I attempted suicide many times and failed miserably. Then, I came here to make everyone else as miserable as I am!
The Care Bears stood shocked. Then, they all started crying. Grumpy: That's horrible! Sunshine: Why!? Why!? Birthday: You've had a horrible life! You're a horrible person! T Love: You should just kill yourself! Walter: Fine, I will! Meranda: What!? Walter points the gun to his head and kills himself. Meranda: No! Tender Love, you're not supposed to say that! We have institutions for people like him! T Love: (sobbing) People like him should just kill themselves and get it over with! Meranda: No! No! Do not listen to Tender Love! Nobody listen to Tender Love! The Care Bear is a lie! Luck Bear rips the head off the Sunshine plushie.
Three months later...
Meranda: I think the Care Bears changed a lot that day. After that, they went to join that cult that's connected with Wish House. Henry: (stoned) You mean Hope House. Meranda: No, I mean Wish House. They changed their names too. Now they're Hate, Anger, Insomnia, Despair, Torture, Hurricane, Murder, Hell, Steve Martin, and Sodomize Bear. Henry: (stoned) So now their cultist bears. Meranda: (shrug) They sell well with the emo kids.
DON'T MESS WITH SUBLIMINAL ADVERTISING!
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So, this is mainly based off of the video Care Bears in The Land Without Feelings which I watched a few days ago. I immediately changed my avatar to Wish Bear and came up with this post, which I didn't create until today. Hope you liked it! Lay off the jukebox, SHF!
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