At Heather's Super Happy Birthday Bash...
Travis: "Hey, you know those children's I Spy books? I know a great way to play that!"
Heather: "Umm, okay."
Travis pulls out his pants.
Travis: "I spy a paperclip, a baseball card, a rock, a bird, a prostitute. A rubber band, a pack of gum, a herd of cows, a small child, the City of Atlantis, and YOUR MOM! OH! BURNED!"
Heather: (sigh) "This is totally not the night I imagined. You video game characters are totally embarassing me in front of my real friends!"
Real Friends: "I dunno. This guy is kinda cool." (points at Henry) "So is it true that you have a mental condition where you can only carry ten items?"
Henry: "Right. I have a deeply programmed fear in my mind of having more than ten items. The size doesn't matter."
Real Friends takes a piece of paper and puts it in Henry's hand. It disappears and appears on the floor.
Real Friends: "Whooa! So cool!"
Queen of England: "This is the best party ever! I haven't been able to cut loose like this in years!"
Travis: "What!? She escaped! How did you beat the Rancor!?"
QoE: "First I said preety please let me go. Then I smiled real big at him. Then I let him watch while I had sex with YOUR MOM! OH! BURNED!"
Travis: "My mother isn't down there. That would be weird, her always tellin' me to straighten up my pubic hair and stop masterbating."
Heather: "That must've been my mom! You bitch!"
Heather gets into a slapfight with the Queen of England.
Harry has gotten to drunk and feels like he's going to throw up. He runs to the bathroom but James and Pyramid Head are inside having sex.
James: "Busy!"
Harry slams the door shut, runs back to the living room, and vomits into a plant.
Harry: "I am so sick of their on again, off again relationship."
Heather and the QoE stop fighting, gasping for air.
QoE: (rearranging bra strap) "You've got spunk girl, I'll give ya that."
Vincent gets a cell phone call.
Vincent: "Hey, I gotta take this outside."
Vincent steps out.
Vincent: "Okay, nurse! You and the rest of you's gots to pay me my money!" (pause) "Ho, I ain't time for this! You get your skinny little ass down here right now!" (snaps cell phone shut)
Harry steps out and vomits all over Vincent.
Three nurses drive up in skimpy hospital outfits. Dr. Kaufman is the driver.
Vincent: "Kaufman! About time! Did you bring the white claudia!?"
Kaufman: "Right here, man." (gently pats back pocket)
Vincent: "Where's Lisa?"
Kaufman: "In the trunk."
(thump, thump)
Inside, everybody starts snorting white cluadia with playing cards.
Real Friends: "Soooo, what is this stuff again?"
Vincent: "Hey, this is pure stuff straight from Silent Hill."
Real Friends: "What's that?"
Harry: "It's a video game series from Konami." (vomits)
Alex: "Wow, you are really drunk."
James walks in, zipping up his fly, with Pyramid Head behind him.
James: "NO, I DON'T WANNA TALK ABOUT IT!! GET OUT RIGHT NOW!! I DON'T WANNA SEE YOU EVER AGAIN!!"
Pyramid Head leaves.
Ten seconds later, James gets a cell phone call.
James: (pause) "Yeah, I'm sorry too, man, get back in here)
Pyramid Head reenters the house and they dash back to the bathroom.
Heather: (facepalm) "Sorry guys, I know I have some kinda weird friends..."
Real Friends: "Are you kidding!? This is awesome! This is totally the coolest party we've ever been to!"
Heather: "Really? I-...thank you."
Everyone: "Awwww..... Group hug!"
Everyone group hugs. Harry vomits on the group.