|
Post by dreggnog on Mar 17, 2010 9:19:57 GMT
Vincent walks into the church library. He's carrying a big lolli and looks a tad more scared than he usually does in this scene.
Vincent: "Hiya Heather."
Heather: "You show up everywhere, don't you?"
Vincent: "You make me sound like some sort of unwanted pest."
Heather: "Well, who are you any- . . . okay, what's with the big lolli!?"
The lollipop explodes and green goop goes everywhere.
Vincent: "You weren't supposed to mention it."
|
|
|
Post by dreggnog on Mar 23, 2010 18:06:52 GMT
Heather finds the shotgun in the gift box. Heather: "Aww, a shotgun, I wanted a peanut!" --- Heather walks to the edge of the tracks. Game Director: "Okay Heather, now were gonna want you to jump onto the tracks." Heather: "Umm, I'm not sure about this..." GD: "Heather, would I really ask you to do something dangerous and lifethreatening?" Heather: "Well, okay then." Heather jumps onto the tracks. A train comes and smacks into her. GD: "PWNED!!!" OR The train comes and smacks into her. GD: "Damn it! The train wasn't supposed to come then! Who flipped the switch!?" Valtiel takes off his mask and is revealed to be a member of the crew. Crew member: "Sorry boss, my finger slipped (heh heh)." GD: "Well, which voice actor are we going to use now!? We'll have to inform one of the girls that we did pick them after all." CM: "How about that girl with the country accent? I liked her!" GD: "She sounds nothing like the original Heather!" CM: "So we'll start over!" GD: "And we got the Split Worm part done so well!" OR The train comes and smacks into her. GD: "NOT AGAIN!!! Tim, get the next animatronic!" Tim: "The package is empty! There aren't any more!" GD: "Yes there are! There are more packages in my office next to the dog food!" OR The train comes and smacks into her. GD: "What the-!? Who was driving that thing!?" CW: " . . . No one, boss." (eerie silence) CW: "Awww, I'm just kiddin'!" OR GD: "Who was driving that thing!?" Wily Cayote comes out of the train. WC: "OH MY GOD!! I AM SO SORRY!! I THOUGHT IT WAS A ROADRUNNER!!" OR The train smacks into her. GD: (tapping fingers on seat) "Okay, I'm sorry, I can't think of any more." Milking a joke is like milking a cow. I just sit in front of my laptop and yank as hard as I can.
|
|
|
Post by blacky on Mar 23, 2010 22:13:47 GMT
Heather finds the shotgun in the gift box. Heather: "Aww, a shotgun, I wanted a peanut!" Heather's Brain: "A shotgun can get you many peanuts!" Heather: "Explain how!" Heather's Brain: "Guns can be used to force people to give goods and services!" Heather: "Woo-hoo!"
|
|
|
Post by dreggnog on Mar 24, 2010 3:07:14 GMT
^Heehee, thanks Blacky.
Heather gets a soda can out of the vending machine. She shakes the key out of it. A tear rolls down her cheek. Heather: "I'm thirsty..."
---
The Split Worm appears.
Heather: (points at it, no surprise) "Huh? Split worm. What's going on with that Split Worm?"
Harry: "Aww, just like her Daddy!"
Heather: (points at Harry) "Huh? Douchebag. What's going on with that douchebag?"
Harry: "Ow, that hurts! I liked you better when you were Cheryl!"
New Harry: "Hey, can I join this party!?"
Harry: "What the hell!?"
Henry: "Damn it! My line again!"
Harry: "You're not supposed to be here, New Harry! It's weird enough that you're a remake of me, but it's worse when you show up in a sequel I'm barely in! Go hom- I mean, umm, of course you can stay! Why don't you go home and sit in my nice comfy chair?"
|
|
|
Post by dreggnog on Mar 31, 2010 2:11:12 GMT
Heather enters the Otherworld Mall restroom. She knocks on the bathroom stall. Nothing happens. She walks away and it opens. She peeks inside.
Douglas: "SOMEONE'S IN HERE!"
Heather: "AHHH!!!"
|
|
|
Post by dreggnog on Apr 8, 2010 2:51:14 GMT
In the sewers, Heather thinks she sees a body in the water under the bridge.
Heather: "Oh my God! Hold on, I know CPR!"
She gets in the murk only to find out that it's a hunk of trash.
Douglas: "Hey, what're you doing down there!"
Heather: "I'm just looking for . . . my condom! I found it!" (waves it around)
|
|
|
Post by dreggnog on May 3, 2010 21:29:37 GMT
Vincent: "I don't think it was a good idea to kill Harry. Making Heather angry could just make her too strong for Claudia. I need to put a stop to this. But Harry's already..."
Heather comes home. She sees Harry in the chair.
Heather: "Dad?"
Harry: (arms flailing about, deep weird voice) "Hello there Heather! I'm your daddy! Give me a biiiiig hug!"
Heather: "Uhh, alright."
Heather hugs Harry's dead body in the chair. Vincent is behind the chiar, operating him with strings. He sees the affection and notices how pretty and soft Heather's hair is. He reaches out and puts his hand on it.
Heather: "I love you daddy."
Vincent: (in his own voice) "I love you too Heather."
Heather looks up in shock, then looks down and sees that his father is dead, then looks back up. Vincent leans forward and kisses her. There's a moment of silence.
Heather: "You f*ckin piece of sh*t. Your testicles are about to become your eyeballs."
|
|
|
Post by dreggnog on May 13, 2010 1:55:14 GMT
^ Heather rips out Vincent's eyes, then rips off his ballls, then switches them.
Heather: "There! How do you like that!?"
Vincent: "Oh my god. I'm seeing the world through my testicles. Everythings all goopy and sticky. But even more interesting, everything's in black and white . . . not like a movie, everything's just black outlines."
Heather: " . . . Really?"
Vincent: "Yeah . . . imagine if it had been like this hundreds of years ago. There would have been no racism, or slavery."
Heather: "Wow, Vincent, you're a perverted freak but you've got some imagination."
Vincent: "Naw, I'm kiddin, I just wanted to say something interesting before I died."
Vincent dies. Claudia walks in and gasps.
Claudia: "No! I was going to kill you!"
Heather: "Deja vu?"
PS: Cmon people I've done the last five posts here. Doesn't everyone else think about this kind of stuff all the time? . . . actually, that'd be a little scary.
|
|
|
Post by Lolli on May 27, 2010 10:10:22 GMT
Heather enters the church where Claudia is eating something from a large bucket.
Heather: You have food, no fair I'm hungry too?
Claudia: Oh you won't like this, it's KFF.
Heather: What's KFF?
Claudia: Kentucky Fried Fetus.
|
|
|
Post by dreggnog on May 27, 2010 18:06:21 GMT
Heather is walking around the corner of a hallway. Suddenly Claudia pops up and bits her in the pussy.
Heather: "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?"
Claudia: "I smelled fetus."
|
|
|
Post by blacky on May 29, 2010 1:49:24 GMT
Heather is walking around the corner of a hallway. Suddenly Claudia pops up and bits her in the pussy. Heather: "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?" Claudia: "I smelled fetus." *They suddenly notice Vincent wacthing with a bag of popcorn*Vincent: "Please ignore me, continue the lesbian muff eating......Oh, come on! Continue!......Come on!........Oh damn it! *He walks off sulking*
|
|
|
Post by Vaan-Knight on May 29, 2010 6:17:48 GMT
I knew there was a reason for which I never told my GF to look at this, our beloved forum.
|
|
|
Post by dreggnog on May 30, 2010 4:10:12 GMT
Douglas: "So it's over?"
Heather: (advances towards Douglas) "Not yet . . . you're still alive..."
Douglas pulls up his gun and shoots Heather in the arm.
Heather: "AAAAHHHHHHHOOOOOWWWWW!!!! GOD THAT HURTS!! IT WAS JUST A JOKE!!!"
Douglas: "It wasn't funny."
Heather: "YOU SHOT ME IN THE ARM!!!"
Douglas: "Given the chance I'd do it again."
Heather: "BLOOD IS SPILLING EVERYWHERE!!!"
Dougles: "Yeah, well you're just gonna have to clean that up aren't you?"
|
|
|
Post by blacky on May 31, 2010 1:57:38 GMT
*The final battle....*
Heather:"What if God was one of us Just a slob like one of us Just a stranger on the bus Trying to make his way home"
*Pissed off, the God sets Heather on fire*
|
|
|
Post by dreggnog on Jun 4, 2010 3:36:05 GMT
Claudia shoves the fetus into her mouth. After a few seconds moving it around in her mouth, she pulls it out straightened. She smooths it out and wraps it into a weird but recognizable shape.
Claudia: "It's a giraffe!"
Heather: "Oh my god..." (falls to her knees, about to throw up) "No...more...fetus...jokes... I'm serious, I will kill you."
Claudia: "Aww, you don't have the guts to kill me. You never do no matter how many oppertunities you have. Hey, you know why I like abortion clinics?"
Heather: (BLARF!!!) "Oh, that is it bitch! You made me throw up! I HATE throwing up!"
Heather lifts up the shotgun and blows Claudia's head off.
|
|