Travis is chilling around in the sanitarium, when a nurse approaches him to attack, our hero notices she's weilding a 4 feet long silver seemingly unbreakable katana.Travis: Ooohh! sweet weapon! where'd ya get it missy?
Nurse: Some guy named Harry Mason gave it to me, said he got it in a second playthrough or something like that...
Travis: And what did you give to him?
Nurse: I let him squeeze my boob.
Travis: Damn... these are those moments when I lament not having boobs... I'll tell you what lady, I'll give you this fine giant cleaver, once wielded by the fearsome Butcher, in exchange for your sword, what do you say?
Nurse: Hmm... what about a red fireman axe? that's more my style, and it's totally in vogue among faceless monstrosities!
Travis: Ack! I haven't get that accolade... OK, wait here, I'll be back in a jiffy!
Travis rushes to the reclusion cell where the memory of his mother waits for him.Travis: (talking really fast) Daddy said you were dead, Are you dead?
Mother: Not dead, locked away! out of sight, out of mi--
Travis: ARGHH!! hurry the fuck up! I have to kill you to see Alessa! I need to speak to her!!
Mother: huh?!
Travis takes out a huge bunch of items from his pants and hurls it to the monster, killing it instantly. Alessa appears as soon as Travis picks up the piece of the Flauros.Travis: Ah, there you are! you've got to help me!
*grabs alessa by her shoulders and shakes her heavily* I need you to go back to the burning house so I can rescue you faster this time 'cuz I want the fireman accolade to get me a shiny sword!
Alessa: But I--
Travis: THERE'S NO TIME TO LOSE!!
Travis takes Alessa's hand and hurries to the burned house's ruins, Alessa trips over several times, unable to keep Travis' pace. Once they're in place, Travis takes out a huge gas can and pours the content around.Travis: OK, now go and lie on the circle on the floor.
Alessa: But the house burned to ashes! there are no more cabalist circles on the fl--
Travis: I DON'T CARE!! DRAW ONE WITH CHARCOAL OR SOMETHING!!!
Alessa: OK, OK!
Travis stages the rescue scene the best he can, and this time manages to take Alessa out in less than 40 seconds! The programmers take pity on Travis and give him the accolade even though he hasn't finished the game yet.Travis:
*pants* Ugh... that was hard... but it was worth it!!
Programmer 1: Why did you give him the accolade? that was totally not a legal way to earn it.
Programmer 2: Meh... I wanted to see Alessa burn once again.
Alessa takes the red axe and stares at Travis.Alessa: Ahem... how do you plan to repay me for all this mess?
Travis: ...What do you want?
Alessa: I want a gallon of chocochip mint ice-cream.
Travis: How on earth am I gonna get ice cream in this town?!
Alessa: No ice-cream, no axe.
Travis: Fine...
Travis remembers the time when Lisa and The Butcher tried to buy his love with nudity and ice-cream trucks, and thus he arrives at the Butcher's Lair"Travis: Hey there Mister Butcher, I was wondering if--
Butcher: OhH, iT'S DaWGgiE!! DaWGGie cAmE baCK To bUTchER! wHY DAwgGiE SHavEd DaWGgiE's FuR? DaWGgie wANt MeAT?
Travis: Argh... no... thank you... I was wondering if you still had some chocochip mint ice-cream in that truck of yours?
Butcher: mE GivE ICe cREam tO DawGgie if DawGgie GivEs bUTcHer a HuG!!
Travis: Oh dear...
Just... Do it quick.
The Butcher crushes Travis' in his arms with all his strength.Butcher: DaWGgIE LiKe hUgS?
Travis: S-sure... I'd be laughing if you hadn't broke two of my ribs... Now, my Ice-cream?
Butcher: oOh, mE FoRgOT, mE gAvE iCe-cReAM tRuCk to CrEePy dOCtoR, hE GiVE bUTchEr fReSh BodY tO eAt!!
Travis:
You son of a ...
*sigh* Nevermind...
Travis heads to the Alchemilla Hospital to find Dr. Kauffmann and Dahlia sharing a banana split.Travis: Hey doc, you wouldn't happen to have some chocochip mint ice-cream left, do you? I'm willing to perform a service of your choosing in exchange for a gallon of it.
Kauffmann: Get naked.
Travis: Excuse me...?
Kauffmann: yeah, get naked man, do it and you'll get your ice-cream.
Travis gets naked and ackwardly stares at Kauffmann and Dahlia.Dahlia: You know, the chocochip ice-cream bucket is actually mine, so you'll have to do something for me as well
Travis:
After hours and hours of trading and doing "special favours" Travis finally gets his Shiny Unbreakable Silver Katana. Upon entering the Theater, he finds Lisa.Lisa: Oooooh, what a nice sword! where did ya get it?
Travis: (breaking into tears) Oh god, GOD!! why didn't you give me boobs?!
Lisa: ...eh?
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I realize the ending sucks, but I've been writing this for like an hour, so meh...