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Post by Lolli on Feb 13, 2011 23:49:10 GMT
Harry is sitting under a tree in his back garden.
Dahlia: What are you doing?
Harry: Have a hundred years passed yet?
Dalia: No.
Harry: Wake me up when a hundred years pass.
Dahlia looks at him, then walks away. Moments later she drags the lawn mower out of the shed and stares impatiently at him.
Harry: Damn it Rip! I want my money back!
Rip Van Winkle pops out from behind the tree, shrugs, then rides off into the sunset with Harry's wallet.
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Post by blacky on Feb 15, 2011 2:32:21 GMT
*SH1 Harry pulls out his gun and starts firing it*
SH1 Harry: "Look me! I am shooting my load!"
Harry: "Oh yeah? Well I am...........*Stares blanky at his phone*..........Fiddling with my gadget?"
SH1 Harry: "well I am bonking monsters with my sturdy pole!"
Harry: "Well I am............lighting my flair.........."
SH1 Harry: "Ahha you haven't got any items to make decent double entendres with!"
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Post by blacky on Mar 4, 2011 3:31:57 GMT
Game warning: "This video game psychologically profiles you as you play. It gets to know who you really are then uses this information to change itself, it uses its knowledge against you, creating your own personal nightmare. This game plays you as much as you play it."
Blacky: "Yeah as if!"
*Blacky starts playing the game*
Monster 1: "Adam, have you started thinking about what you want to write for that 10,000 word dissertation yet?"
Monster 2: "Yeah Adam, what about that 10,000 word dissertation?"
Monster 3: "10,000 word dissertation Adam!"
Blacky: *Screams in horror*
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Post by dreggnog on Mar 16, 2011 22:02:05 GMT
Harry: "New Harry, we're gonna settle this once and for all, with PONG!"
New Harry: "Pff, PONG!? How bout some Halo or Street Fighter?"
Harry: "Say what now?"
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Post by blacky on Mar 28, 2011 20:34:40 GMT
Harry: "My daughter missing? This sounds like a job for........." *He takes off his glasses and rips his shirt open.........only to expose nothing but a hairy chest*Harry: "Oh............No suit underneath?" Cybil: "Harry you are not Clark kent"
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Sindaiin
Nurse
Lakeside Amusement Park Curator
Posts: 206
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Post by Sindaiin on Apr 4, 2011 21:41:25 GMT
Superman delivers Cheryl to Harry after his epic fail.
Superman: Here is your daughter Mr. Mason. Harry: Thank you, but how do you know my name?
Everyone pauses for a moment and Superman leans in.
Superman: (Whispers) I'm an alien from another planet. Harry: Whoah! Like ET!? Cheryl: (Facepalm)
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Post by blacky on Apr 12, 2011 22:16:28 GMT
Harry: "Who are you?" Seductive Dahlia: "I am Dahlia, want to go into the backroom for a quicky?" Tomboy Dahlia: "Excuse me, but any of you got a light? I need a smoke" Harry: "Who are you?" Tomboy Dahlia: "I am Dahlia, want a drink?" Seductive Dahlia: "Oh no you don't! He's mine!" Punk Dahlia: "Ugh, can you guys stop being so werid?" Harry: "Who are you?" Punk Dahlia: "I am Dahlia, duh!" Harry: "Okay this is getting a little confusing" Older Dahlia: "You youngens! Always making so much noise!" Harry: "Don't tell me, your Dahlia?" Older Dahlia: "Well you should know my name by now, we are married!" Harry: "Okay let me get this straight, That Dahlia wants to get it on with me, that dahlia's clearly a drunk, that Dahlia is a rude bitch and this Dahlia is my wife?" Real Life Dahlia: "HARRY HAROLD MASON!" Harry: "Oh fuck" Real Life Dahlia: "I should of known you'd be involved with this many woman! I knew I was right when I when we got that divorce!" Harry: "Look, it isn't what it looks like!" Seductive Dahlia: "Come Harry! I want you now!" Tomboy Dahlia: "Come on Harry, lets have a drink!" Punk Dahlia: "Come on Harry, lets get away from these weridos!" Older Dahlia: "Harry! Mow the yard!" Real Life Dahlia: "If only your daughter could see you now, Harry!" Harry: "I don't think my life can get any worse than this" SH1 Dahlia: "Manchild! There you are, here's a cage of Flauros, go and capture the demon!" Harry: "You what?" Movie Dahlia: "Only the dark one opens and closes the door to Silent hill!" Harry: "I am tottaly and completely confused, now that there as many Dahilas as there were Dwarfs in Snow White" Seductive Dahlia: "Harry!" Tomboy Dahlia: "Harry!" Punk Dahlia: "Harry!" Older Dahlia: "Harry!" Real Life Dahlia: "HARRY!" SH1 Dahlia: "Manchild!" Movie Dahlia: "Rose!" Harry: "LEAVE ME ALONE!!!"
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Post by Lolli on Apr 18, 2011 19:55:52 GMT
Harry is running away from a group of raw shocks when he trips and falls to the floor.
Harry: *Crawling on all fours* My glasses, I can't see a thing without my glasses!
Velma: Where are my glasses, I can't see a thing without them!
Harry and Velma's hands touch. They look up suddenly, embarrassed, before squinting longingly into each other's eyes. They move in closer, until their lips almost touch.
Harry: There's something in your eye *poke*
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Sindaiin
Nurse
Lakeside Amusement Park Curator
Posts: 206
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Post by Sindaiin on Apr 19, 2011 2:48:33 GMT
Harry: "Who are you?" Seductive Dahlia: "I am Dahlia, want to go into the backroom for a quicky?" Tomboy Dahlia: "Excuse me, but any of you got a light? I need a smoke" Harry: "Who are you?" Tomboy Dahlia: "I am Dahlia, want a drink?" Seductive Dahlia: "Oh no you don't! He's mine!" Punk Dahlia: "Ugh, can you guys stop being so werid?" Harry: "Who are you?" Punk Dahlia: "I am Dahlia, duh!" Harry: "Okay this is getting a little confusing" Older Dahlia: "You youngens! Always making so much noise!" Harry: "Don't tell me, your Dahlia?" Older Dahlia: "Well you should know my name by now, we are married!" Harry: "Okay let me get this straight, That Dahlia wants to get it on with me, that dahlia's clearly a drunk, that Dahlia is a rude bitch and this Dahlia is my wife?" Real Life Dahlia: "HARRY HAROLD MASON!" Harry: "Oh fuck" Real Life Dahlia: "I should of known you'd be involved with this many woman! I knew I was right when I when we got that divorce!" Harry: "Look, it isn't what it looks like!" Seductive Dahlia: "Come Harry! I want you now!" Tomboy Dahlia: "Come on Harry, lets have a drink!" Punk Dahlia: "Come on Harry, lets get away from these weridos!" Older Dahlia: "Harry! Mow the yard!" Real Life Dahlia: "If only your daughter could see you now, Harry!" Harry: "I don't think my life can get any worse than this" SH1 Dahlia: "Manchild! There you are, here's a cage of Flauros, go and capture the demon!" Harry: "You what?" Movie Dahlia: "Only the dark one opens and closes the door to Silent hill!" Harry: "I am tottaly and completely confused, now that there as many Dahilas as there were Dwarfs in Snow White" Seductive Dahlia: "Harry!" Tomboy Dahlia: "Harry!" Punk Dahlia: "Harry!" Older Dahlia: "Harry!" Real Life Dahlia: "HARRY!" SH1 Dahlia: "Manchild!" Movie Dahlia: "Rose!" Harry: "LEAVE ME ALONE!!!" Love this!
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Post by blacky on Apr 23, 2011 0:16:01 GMT
*Cybil is about to drop the bombshell onto Harry....*
Cybil: "Your can't be Harry Mason! Harry Mason is dead!"
Harry: "No, You are dead!"
Cybil: "What? I am not trying to get into a petty arguement, I am just stating the facts!"
Harry: "I know you are but what am I?"
Cybil: "Stop with the stupid come backs!"
Harry: "Your mother!"
Cybil: "I give up!"
Harry: "Twinkle twinkle little star, what you say is what you are"
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Post by blacky on May 16, 2011 18:30:03 GMT
Harry: "To hell with this no weapons shit! I am going to fight back!"
*Harry starts lobbing the mementos he has collected at the monsters*
Harry: "Hahahaha! How do you like me now?"
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Post by blacky on Jun 2, 2011 23:03:27 GMT
Harry: "It's always the usual dilemma, shall I get drunk now, or shall I get very drunk now? Or am I drunk already? I better have a little drinky and think about it"
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Post by Lolli on Jun 7, 2011 20:48:42 GMT
Cybil: The truth is, Harry, that you're a character in a video game. Harry: Wha-!? He turns towards the screen, rapping on the glass with his fists until it shatters and he falls through. Shocked gamers: Harry: *Brushing glass off himself* Sorry, sorry. I didn't mean to break the fourth wall. He thrusts a hand to his face.Harry: Ow! Oh God there's glass in my eye!
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Post by blacky on Jul 1, 2011 2:52:53 GMT
*Cybil and Michelle is looking for Harry who has run off again...*
Cybil: "I think he went this way"
Michelle: "What makes you think that?"
Cybil: "All the Snowmen around here have had carrot dicks put on them"
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Post by blacky on Jul 2, 2011 22:56:48 GMT
*Harry runs into Kaufmann's office wearing a yellow shirt with black tape strapped round it*
Cheryl: "Dad? What the hell?"
Harry: "I've finally got back! I've made that bumble bee costume that you needed for school!"
Cheryl: "Dad, first off, that looks like shit, second, it should of fitted me not you, and third, that should of been ready twenty years ago!"
Harry: "............Well I made it!"
Cheryl: ".................."
Harry: "Well if your not going to enjoy it, then I'll will!"
*Harry starts running around the office making buzzing bee sounds*
Cheryl: "Doc! I think the meds are wearing off!"
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