|
Post by Lolli on Jul 26, 2009 16:16:18 GMT
Travis enters the theatre to find Lisa seated in one of the rows.
Lisa: *Placing arms around Travis* Hey Travis I...
The butcher comes driving along in an ice cream van, sounding his little jingle.
Travis: *Whizzing round* Oh boy, Oh boy, ice cream! *Rushes out*
|
|
|
Post by dreggnog on Jul 26, 2009 16:58:15 GMT
Travis enters the theatre to find Lisa seated in one of the rows.Lisa: *Placing arms around Travis* Hey Travis I... The butcher comes driving along in an ice cream van, sounding his little jingle.Travis: *Whizzing round* Oh boy, Oh boy, ice cream! *Rushes out* Lisa: "Well, damn it, I can compete with that!" She steals a bunch of ballons from a clown and drives around an ice cream truck. "Free balloons with purchase of ice cream!" Travis: "Oh boy, free balloons! I'm going to that ice cream truck instead!" The Butcher starts playing hardcore rock music. Travis: "Hey, but that one has better music. Lisa strips in the van. Travis: "Yay, ice cream plus naked woman plus free balloon! The Butcher can't possibly top that!" The Butcher builds a time machine and goes into the future, then comes back. Butcher: "Free copy of Silent Hill: Shattered Memories with ice cream! Be the first to play!" Travis: "SOLD!" Butcher: "Yes, I won! I won, Lisa! Take that! . . . Wait, wasn't I supposed to be trying to kill him." Lisa: "Ha! I won because I'm prettier than you, Butcher!" Travis hitches the ice cream trucks together and drives away. Travis: "No, I won because I have ice cream and a copy of Shattered Memories and YOU DON'T!!" Lisa: "...My clothes were in that ice cream truck." Butcher: "Don't worry, I only like other monsters. You're just like a dog with no fur to me."
|
|
|
Post by Vaan-Knight on Jul 28, 2009 19:30:38 GMT
Travis and Lisa are running around Silent Hill while pursued by the Butcher, they soon get cornered in a dead end alley.
Travis: Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear, I'm out of bullets!!
Lisa: Calm down! come on, you've got to find something to kill him inside of those pants!
Travis nervously searches inside his pants, he takes out an electric guitar, a multifunction printer and an abs machine, along with a load of useless items.
Lisa: Dammit! gimme that!
Lisa takes off Travis' pants and searches inside.
Lisa: Huh? there's nothing here! then the inventory is inside your underwear? >_>
Travis keeps taking out useless stuff from his underwear, while the Butcher is closing in dangerously.
Lisa: Oh, gimme a break!
Lisa takes off Travis' tight whities only to discover the horrible truth behind Travis' legendary bottomless inventory.
Lisa: There's nothing here either... Then you've been saving these things up your...
Travis: OK, I admit it!!! T___T it was hard at first, but it was such a useful alternative... And it became rather... entertaining after a while n////n
Lisa: No wonder you were giggling when you found that long rifle... ¬¬
|
|
|
Post by dreggnog on Jul 28, 2009 22:42:17 GMT
Travis and Lisa are running around Silent Hill while pursued by the Butcher, they soon get cornered in a dead end alley. Travis: Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear, I'm out of bullets!! Lisa: Calm down! come on, you've got to find something to kill him inside of those pants! Travis nervously searches inside his pants, he takes out an electric guitar, a multifunction printer and an abs machine, along with a load of useless items. Lisa: Dammit! gimme that! Lisa takes off Travis' pants and searches inside. Lisa: Huh? there's nothing here! then the inventory is inside your underwear? >_> Travis keeps taking out useless stuff from his underwear, while the Butcher is closing in dangerously. Lisa: Oh, gimme a break! Lisa takes off Travis' tight whities only to discover the horrible truth behind Travis' legendary bottomless inventory. Lisa: There's nothing here either... Then you've been saving these things up your... Travis: OK, I admit it!!! T___T it was hard at first, but it was such a useful alternative... And it became rather... entertaining after a while n////n Lisa: No wonder you were giggling when you found that long rifle... ¬¬ From inside the anus... Queen of England: "Hey, why did you take out the printer? I was using that! Don't read the files that come out of there, they're top secret!
|
|
|
Post by blacky on Jul 29, 2009 3:11:05 GMT
Travis: "hey guys, can I intrest you in a brand new televison?"
Kaufman: "No I don't need a brand new televison, why you ask?"
Travis: "I am running out of space for all this gear I keep picking up, i don't think I can shove anymore up my ass"
Kaufman: "You've been shoving stuff up your ass?"
Travis: "Well yeah"
Kaufman: "You do know you can just ask those aliens to create an inventory that uses another universe to hold your gear in? It's all the range with silent hill protagonists, except Henry of course, he's not cool enougth."
Travis: "Bastards! Why didn't anyone tell me? Well I am off!"
Kaufman: "Where you going?"
Travis: "I've got a company's worth of filling cabinets I need to shit out!"
|
|
|
Post by dreggnog on Jul 29, 2009 3:48:46 GMT
Game developer: "Damn it, Travis, are you still trying to paint the Otherworld to make it brighter and less scary!?"
Travis: (singing) "I see a red door and I want it painted . . . HOT PINK!"
|
|
|
Post by blacky on Aug 7, 2009 23:50:35 GMT
Fraggles: "Dance your cares away," *Clap Clap* "Worry's for another day. Let the music play," *Clap Clap* "Down in Travis's pants."
|
|
|
Post by Vaan-Knight on Aug 8, 2009 10:08:17 GMT
After a long tiring playthrough without saving, Travis is proudly wearing his dog costume. Now he is about to rescue Alessa from the house on fire.Travis: Oh my god... Alessa: Let me bu-- what the heck? Travis: What?! you don't like my doggie costume? Alessa: (whatever...) Let me bur-- Pfft... Sorry, sorry, Ahem... Let m-me b-- pfff... HAHAHAHA!! Travis: You know what? turn to ashes!! Later on, a Carrion enemy sees Travis, but instead of attacking him, it humps Travis' leg like a horny dog.Travis: Oh dear... is it possible to sink to an even lower level? The worse thing is that I kinda like it... Some time later, when Travis finds Dahlia at the sanitarium:Travis: You were a the fire... Dahlia: Ooooohhhh, a furry!!! come to momma!!! Travis: Oh god... NO, NO! leave me alone!!! *runs* Dahlia: *running after Travis* Get over here!! It was foretold by gyromancy that I would fulfill my naughtiest fantasy during a second playthrough!! Travis is getting sick of the sub-characters' reactions, but he promised himself he would finish the game wearing the daredevil costume.Travis: I didn't get through this nightmare without saving for not to use this costume now!! ¬¬ Lisa: You could have put the PSP on sleep mode to take a break without quitting the game to get that stupid accolade, you know? Travis: Crap... Travis confronts the Butcher at the Motel:Travis: Damn... he looks even more pissed than the last time. The Butcher looks at Travis, but instead of attacking he lifts him in the air bear-hugging him with all his strength.Butcher: oOhH, CuTe dOgGiE!! mE lUuvS DaWggIE ForEvEr!! iF dOGGie leAVes ButCheR... BuTCher GUts DoggIE NExT tiME He FIndS DAwGgIE!!! daWGgie HunGRy? HaVE MeAT!! MeaT GoOd!! ;D Travis: ...meat? you don't mean from this monster, do y-- The butcher fills Travis' mouth with a lump of monster flesh.Travis: X__x Oh, fweet moffer of Fefus *chews* Travis survives his visit to the motel and even manages to defeat Samael; all wearing his mutt costume. Now he walks the peaceful path to his truck.Travis: I made it... I MADE IT!! Suddenly a huge pack of Carrions and Calibans surround Travis, all of them have the same odd expression on their warped faces.Carrions: Travis: ...I knew I shouldn't have taken off the zipper and sewed the costume to maker it look more real...
|
|
|
Post by dreggnog on Aug 8, 2009 14:16:02 GMT
Haha, vaanknight, your post sounds like something Rob Schnider would do. The Butcher was the funniest part.
|
|
|
Post by Vaan-Knight on Aug 8, 2009 19:47:58 GMT
Haha, vaanknight, your post sounds like something Rob Schnider would do. The Butcher was the funniest part. Rob Schneider? Blimey! I hope I can find a place in my brain where that sounds like a compliment. TY man!
|
|
|
Post by Kiryū Kazuma on Aug 8, 2009 20:57:11 GMT
TRavis sees a twoback
Travis "mmm looks familiar......."
At that moment his pants explode with to many items spilling out, trying to get items back into his canvones pants he starts bending over to pick things up.
PH to the butcher " go little brother there is your chance!"
Butcher runs up behind travis and shouts "twoback!" whilst mounting travis in a swift manner.
Travis "god dam ouch now I remember"
|
|
|
Post by dreggnog on Aug 9, 2009 1:05:18 GMT
Lisa: "Hey, umm, did you know that you have these rabbit ears sticking out of your head?"
Travis: "Oh, yeah, see I had a headache so I reached down by pants to get a bottle of aspirin but grabbed the wrong bottle and accidentaly took Midol instead. So . . . yeah, this is what happens if a guy takes Midol."
Lisa: "Your skin is turning purple!"
Travis: "What, really!?"
Lisa: "Yeah, and your hair is turning into spaghetti!"
Travis: "Okay, now you're just making fun of me."
|
|
|
Post by Lolli on Aug 9, 2009 11:12:48 GMT
Travis is in the theatre when he is suddenly attacked by an Ariel.
Travis: Dang it! *whacks Ariel with a stick, knocking it down* You little bastard! *Begins punching Ariel repeatedly in the face*
Woman #1: What the hell are you doing!
Woman #2: I'm going to call the child protection services on you!
Travis: Shut up!
Woman #2: You're going to kill it!
Travis: You can't kill what isn't alive!
Women: !!!
|
|
|
Post by Vaan-Knight on Aug 9, 2009 21:32:09 GMT
Travis is in the theatre when he is suddenly attacked by an Ariel.Travis: Dang it! *whacks Ariel with a stick, knocking it down* You little bastard! *Begins punching Ariel repeatedly in the face* Woman #1: What the hell are you doing! Woman #2: I'm going to call the child protection services on you! Travis: Shut up! Woman #2: You're going to kill it! Travis: You can't kill what isn't alive! Women: !!! Alessa comes out from the shadows.Alessa: Where were you yesterday beeshes?!!
|
|
|
Post by dreggnog on Aug 10, 2009 0:22:55 GMT
RE4 merchant: "Got somethin' that might interest ya', stranger!" Travis: "Huh? What are YOU doing here? This game doesn't have a currency." Merchant: "Oh...that sucks." Travis: "Say, where do you keep all of those weapons of yours?" Merchant: "Umm . . ." Travis: "Because you might notice that I'm standing here in my underwear." Merchant: "Well, I-" Travis: "What the hell's wrong with you!? Comin' up behind a guy and stealing his pants! You should be ashamed of yourself!" Merchant: (breaks down crying) "The unlimited space just makes everything so much easier! Especially going to the bathroom!" Travis: "...You can keep them." 100TH POST!!!
|
|