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Post by Lolli on Oct 3, 2009 9:33:19 GMT
Alessa appears before Travis, all glowing and shit.Travis: Okay hell bitch, you wanna play this game then so will I. I call this Super Saiyin 3! Travis lurches forward with his back arched, and his fists clenched, screaming loudly.Travis: ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH *PARP* Alessa: Travis:
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Post by blacky on Oct 8, 2009 22:55:04 GMT
Travis: "Hmmmm, I wonder how vast the space in my pants is?"
*He picks up a big stone, pulls his pants open and drops it in, then he starts counting the time till he hears it hit the bottom...*
Travis: "one, two, three, four, five, six.........."
*the stone falls out of the sky and hits Travis on the head, knocking him out*
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Post by dreggnog on Oct 17, 2009 23:15:15 GMT
Travis goes into an old-timey carnival. He sees the bear-fighting ring.
Announcer: "You there, sir! You look like a musculer individual! How would you like to try fighting Wanda!?"
Travis: "HUH?" And before he knows it, Travis is being pulled into the ring by two hairy paws and gets his ass kicked.
Two years later, after Travis ventures through Silent Hill...
He goes back to the carnival, and asks to be let into the bear-fighting ring.
Announcer: "All-right folks! Here's umm, well I never asked what his name was, but here's some trucker guy coming to fight Wanda! He's putting his fists up and Wanda is coming at him! OH, he's gonna be crushed and creamed and uhh, where did he get that television! OOHHHH, WANDA IS DOWN!!"
The crowd boo's and Travis walks around the bear, kissing his muscles.
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Post by dreggnog on Oct 26, 2009 15:57:24 GMT
Travis has a sniper rifle pointed down his pants.
Travis: "I'm gonna catch that wily cyote this time."
BANG
Travis: "Crap."
He's in the middle of a mall and a bunch of people are watching him afraid. The cops show up.
Cop: "Okay, sir, put the gun down before you seriously hurt yourself."
Travis: "Not until I get that crazy bastard."
A stranger walks up behind Travis when he's about to pull the trigger.
Stranger: "NO, DON'T SHOOT!"
BANG!
Travis: "OOOOOWWWWWWW!!!!! AAUUUUUUGGGGHHHHh!!!!! DAMN IT, YOU STARTLED ME!! AND HE GOT AWAY!!!!"
Stranger: "I told you not to shoot. It's your own darn fault."
Cop: "This is the point where I begin to question the existance of a cayote."
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Post by Lolli on Nov 5, 2009 11:13:44 GMT
Dahlia: Especially important is the warning to avoid conversations with the demon. We may ask what is relevant but anything beyond that is dangerous. She is a liar. The demon is a liar. She will lie to confuse us. But she will also mix lies with the truth to attack us. The attack is psychological, Travis, and powerful. So don't listen to her. Remember that - do not listen...Hey are you listening?
Travis: *To Alessa* You mean it won't hurt if I put my hand in this fire?
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Post by dreggnog on Nov 15, 2009 21:56:56 GMT
Travis enters the motel room and sees his dad hanged. The boss fight starts. Travis: "You are no match for my unlimited inventory!" Travis takes off his pants and tries to pull them over the huge monster. Lisa happens to walk in at this time. Travis: "Get in my pants, Dad! Get in my pants!" Lisa: Alessa: "Travis, that's not where your inventory goes!" Travis: "It's not? Then where am I supposed to shove my dad?" Travis glances down at his underwear. Lisa: "OKAY, THAT'S IT! NOTHING TO SEE HERE! THIS JOKE IS OVER!!!"
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Post by dreggnog on Nov 30, 2009 16:22:51 GMT
Travis pulls a katana out of his anus and prepares to fight a nurse. The nurse screams and runs away.
Nurse: "EEWWWWW!!! GEEERRRRMMMMSSSS!!!"
Travis: "Huh. It's amazing that that's what scared her off instead of the fact that I had a deadly weapon. People are so germaphobic these days. Still, that makes me feel pretty bad. I should get some GermX."
Travis finds a small bottle of GermX.
Travis: "This isn't enough for my unlimited inventory."
Travis buys a ton of bottles of GermX and dumps them in a big pot. He takes off his clothes and sits in the pot. (He keeps his hat on.)
Travis: "Okay. Now I just have to do the opposite of what I do when I poo."
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Post by Lolli on Dec 7, 2009 16:38:35 GMT
Lisa: So Travis what are you doing for Christmas this year?
Travis: I'm going home to visit family.
Lisa: That sounds nice, are you having turkey? My family always has turkey but I know some have duck.
Travis: We don't get turkeys where I live.
Lisa: So what do you eat?
Travis: Whatever I hit on the road home. Usually Squirell, but sometimes we get lucky and a hobo stumbles into the road.
Lisa: .........
Travis: I have a big family.
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Post by dreggnog on Dec 9, 2009 20:52:48 GMT
Travis is texting with the cell phone down his pants.
Travis: "Dang, I'm getting bad reception."
Travis looks around, then reaches down and wiggles something around.
Travis: "That's better."
Tiny people in Travis's pants: "Hey, that thing is blocking our satellite dish! We're getting bad TV reception and can't watch Lost!"
Travis: (stretches out pants and yells down) "Damn it, if you people are gonna live in my pants then we're gonna have to cooperate!"
Lisa: "Umm . . . Travis?"
Travis: "Oh, uhh, Lisa." (glances down Lisa's shirt) "I think the tiny people of Pube-town are about to get some majorly bad reception."
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Post by dreggnog on Jan 28, 2010 15:47:53 GMT
Priest: "Travis, have you heard the word of God?"
Travis: "No, but I can check." (starts rummaging through pants) "He's gotta be somewhere down there. Everything else seems to be."
Priest: (faints)
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Post by blacky on Feb 2, 2010 2:47:37 GMT
Pyramid head: "For fucks sake Butcher! What have I told you about cutting up my bitches?....." Nurse: "Wait, what? Pyramid head are you trying to encourage better treatment of you're follow monsters?" Pyramid head: "Hell no! I am just saying if he has to cut you guys up, at least do it horizontally through the middle! That way you're holes will be still intact for me to use later on!" Nurse:
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Post by dreggnog on Feb 2, 2010 21:37:51 GMT
Adventures of Pube-Town!
A dog comes up. *bark*bark*
Man: "What's that, Lassie? What's going on?"
*bark*bark*
Man: "Timmy fell into the the hole of eternal death!?"
*bark*bark*
Man: "He's done for! What do we do!"
*bark!!*
With dramatic music playing, Lassie runs across fields and through towns and then leaps into the anus. Just then Travis farts. Lassie dies.
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Post by blacky on Feb 13, 2010 22:11:13 GMT
*Travis is searching through his pants*Travis: "I know I have it in here some where" Lisa: "What the hell are you doing?" Travis: "I am rooting about through my stuff" Lisa: "You filthy pervert! You do that sort of thing in public?" Travis: "No you don't understand, I am just trying to get my pole out" Lisa: "You are not getting you're pole out near me you sick bastard!" Travis: "No! It's not like that! You see I keep my equipment in my pants" Lisa: "And if you don't want me calling the cops you'll better keep it in there!" Travis: "Oh god, it's going to be one of those days isn't it?"
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Post by dreggnog on Feb 16, 2010 21:51:33 GMT
Travis is having sex with a woman.
Travis: "Man, I'm getting exhausted." (pulls Bill Clinton out of his pants) "Here, Bill, you take over for a while."
Now isn't that helpful!
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Post by dreggnog on Feb 21, 2010 12:48:29 GMT
(Is all this double posting getting on anyone's nerves? It has been a few days.)
Travis is out on the town with a woman.
Date: "So, where's your car?"
Travis: "Oh, I keep my car in the (ahem) garage."
Travis pulls out a car key with a button pad attached and pushes the unlock button. Two beeps resonate from inside his anus.
Travis: "All aboard."
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