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Post by blacky on Aug 2, 2009 1:02:38 GMT
*Boat flashback, Joshua shows Alex the ring that his dad gave him*
Alex: "Give us that, Deagol, my love"
Joshua: "Why?"
Alex: "Because its my birthday, and I wants it!"
*Alex strangles Joshua to death and takes the ring*
Alex: "My precious!"
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Post by dreggnog on Aug 2, 2009 3:47:36 GMT
WELL, IT'S ABOUT DAMN TIME!!!
Alex: "Damn it, these bullet caps are frustrating. If only I could hold, unlimited . . . items . . . hey, is that-?"
Alex sees Travis in the distance, running around aimlessly.
Alex: "It is! It's Travis! He could help me!"
Alex runs after Travis. Travis looks up, startled, and then starts running.
Alex: "Hey, I'm not gonna hurt ya!" (takes greens out of his pocket) "Come on, you know you want it!"
Travis smells the greens. He stops, turns around, and slowly begins moving on all fours towards Alex.
Alex: "Come on . . . come on . . ."
Travis puts his face really close to the greens, smelling. Alex slams his face really hard into the road and gets on top of him.
Alex: "YEE-HAH!"
(chocobo music starts up)
Alex rides Travis around Silent Hill, putting random items into Travis' pants as he goes and shooting monsters from off of his back. Pyramid Head comes out of nowhere and stopps Travis with his foot, the stop making Alex fly off of Travis and land hard on the ground.
Alex: "G*ddammit, your such a motherf*cking policeman! You're not even supposed to be in this game!"
James shows up.
James: "You're a bad person! You never let us have any fun! I wish I was dead!"
PH: "You'll both thank me for this someday."
James: "No we won't." (crosses arms)
Heather shows up with a clipboard.
Heather: "Alex, what the heck's goin' on? You're supposed to be at Hell's Descent by this point."
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Post by Lolli on Aug 6, 2009 14:01:04 GMT
Alex is walking down the misty street when he spots Elle putting up posters.
Elle: Oof *slips off chair*
Alex runs forward and grabs Elle, grasping her breasts.
Alex: Don't worry well Elle, I've got you *fumbles Elle*
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Post by dreggnog on Aug 9, 2009 0:32:52 GMT
Alex: "MOOOOOMMMMMYYY!!! THEY'RE BACK AGAIN!!"
Mom: (sigh) "Alex, what have I told you? There are no tanks in the closet. There are no tanks under your bed. There's no such things as tanks. Now, good night." (leaves)
Alex feels his bed being pushed up as a tank drives out from under it. The turret points at him.
Alex: "WAAAAAAAHHHHHH!! IT'S GONNA SHOOT ME IN THE FACE!!"
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Post by blacky on Aug 10, 2009 3:12:11 GMT
*Pyramid head stares at the new nurses as they stand still in the darkness*
Pyramid head: "That's werid, they never used to do that before. Oh well all the better I say!"
*Pyramid head gets behind one and raises his robe*
Double Helix: "Hey stop that!"
Pyramid head: "Wha?"
Double Helix: "Jeez, team silent said nothing about it doing that. It's only surposed to come in and kill things in it's fanwankary role. best to have it neutered otherwise it will mess things up"
Pyramid head: "NOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Double Helix: "And change it's name to something silly, like bogeyman or something"
Bogeyman: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
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Post by Lolli on Aug 11, 2009 13:25:15 GMT
Alex wakes up in his cell at the police station. Wheeler comes by to drop off another inmate, a large, musclebound skinhead before leaving. Alex stares at the skinhead, the skinhead at Alex.
Skinhead: You're my bitch now pretty boy.
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Post by Lolli on Aug 28, 2009 21:09:56 GMT
Alex is walking through the streets of Silent Hill when he is ambushed by Josh, Laura, Little Walter, Cheryl and Alessa.
Alex: Oh shit, this is just like that film, Hostel, with those evil street kids.
Josh: Gimme your money!
Alex: I don't have any money!
Josh: Then gimme the gum!
Alex: I don't have any gum!
Josh: Alright no money, no gum, no exception!
The kids all pull out weapons varying from Sub machine guns to Bazookas.
Alex: Hey, where'd you get those guns?
The Merchant rides by in the background on an electric scooter.
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Post by dreggnog on Aug 31, 2009 22:22:11 GMT
Alex comes to the v*gina wall.
Alex: "What the hell? Do I look like a pen*s to you people?"
The wall moves, the lips move forward and grab Alex.
"NOM!"
Alex: "Oh, it's a mouth . . . that's actually kinda worse for me."
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Post by Lolli on Oct 2, 2009 14:46:45 GMT
The Sepulcher boss fight.
Alex: *Hiding behind a chest of drawers* I don't know where these things came from, but I'm glad they're here.
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Post by dreggnog on Oct 26, 2009 15:52:17 GMT
The judge sentences Alex to a lifetime in prison for some reason. Now he is in a prison cell.
Alex: "For some reason!? Doctor Eggnog, have you even played the game!? Wait-who's that!? Helllllooooo!? I'm trapped in here!"
James sees Alex in the prison cell and freaks out, shooting him twenty times.
Alex: "Oh, a Silent Hill 2 reference, Nogg'? Yeah, that really shows your knowledge of Homecoming."
Dr. Eggnog: "Well, you know what? You know what?" (chucks laptop out window) "That's what. . . . And that was a six hundred dollar laptop."
Outside, a bird starts pecking on the laptop.
vxfs cfsbcdcffcvsfxxcfsfsbxfxcvscbsfxvssfatxcsvbafxvsgwfxxca
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Post by Lolli on Nov 1, 2009 0:12:09 GMT
Once upon a time there was a young boy named Alex Shepherd who lived with his cruel mother and father. One day Alex discovered that he was a wizard and that he was destined to attend Silent Hill School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
Alex: Mummy, Daddy, I'm going to be a wizard!
Lilian: Get back under the stairs Alex.
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Post by dreggnog on Nov 2, 2009 3:47:28 GMT
Lolli, I can't believe you did a HARRY Potter reference in a 'Things ALEX and the gang wouldn't say' thread.
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Post by Lolli on Nov 2, 2009 14:48:29 GMT
I made a reference to Harry Potter in Harry's thread too it just works better with Alex cause mommy don't love him =]
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Post by blacky on Nov 5, 2009 1:28:24 GMT
*Pyramid head/Bogeyman walks out into the street and see his fellow monsters dress up as football players and prom queens*Bogeyman: "Erm, no guys, the game isn't about that kind of homecomming" Monsters: "Awwwww!"
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Post by Redemption on Nov 14, 2009 3:50:52 GMT
Alex : Beep Beep Beep, I'm a reversing Tuck. ...
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