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Post by dreggnog on Jul 3, 2010 4:08:32 GMT
Alex defeats the final boss. He steps forward to make sure that it's dead. A massive green turett rises up from its vag*na.
Alex: "TAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNK!!!!!"
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Post by dreggnog on Jul 20, 2010 6:54:44 GMT
The game ends.
Alex: "Well, that was the highlight of my day."
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Post by Lolli on Oct 7, 2010 22:48:55 GMT
Alex is searching for Elle in the Hostel labyrinth.
Alex: Elle!
Paxton: Help!
Alex and Paxton stop, staring each other out in confusion.
Alex: Oops, sorry. I think I'm on the wrong set.
Paxton: No forgive me, I seem to have taken a wrong turn.
Eli Roth: CUT! What's going on here, what are you doing on my set Alex?
Cordy Rierson: Excuse me, but it's Paxton who is on MY set.
Booming omnipotent voice: DECISIVE BATTLE!
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Post by dreggnog on Nov 10, 2010 21:43:08 GMT
Alex and Elle are together. Alex goes around a corner. Elle walks in place at the wall.
Alex: "Aww crap, she's stuck again."
Alex walks up beside Elle, who is staring straight forward and walking at the wall. He reaches towards her boob. She slaps his hand away and continues walking at the wall.
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Post by blacky on Nov 24, 2010 1:31:14 GMT
Joshua: "I want robbie!"
Alex: ""I wants" don't get! Show some respect you little sh*thead!"
Achievement unlocked: 'Child Abusing Arsehole!'
Blacky: "I liked games when they didn't award me for everything under the sun"
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Post by Lolli on Nov 24, 2010 14:39:26 GMT
^ Lolli selects a new game.Achievement Unlocked: 'Start the game'Lolli:
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Post by dreggnog on Nov 25, 2010 17:57:53 GMT
Achievement Unlocked: 'Breathing!'
Dr. Eggnog: "Yaaaaaaaay! I'm awesome!!"
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Post by mr. worncoat on Nov 30, 2010 0:21:05 GMT
*Alex is confronted by Pyramid Head (that Boogetman nonesense is insulting, screw that) in the hotel hallway. Pyramid stares. Alex stares. Pyramid Head stares some more. Alex stares, a bead of sweat rolling down his forhead. More staring. It gets laborous, intense, brutal. Finally, Pyramid Head leaves. Alex stands.*
Alex: I can't believe nobody else was here to see that.. I completely beat Pyramid Head in a staring contest! Move over James, I'm taking your spot.
*Alex waits for a second, staring up at the ceiling.*
Alex: Um.. hello?
*Nothing.*
Alex: Hey, where's THAT acheivement?!
*He's suddenly picked up from behind and rushed through a room and out a window. Pyramid Head leans his head through the window and looks down at him.*
Pyramid Head: Flight acheivement unlocked. Tool.
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Post by Lolli on Dec 15, 2010 23:29:35 GMT
As with things SH3 characters wouldn't say, Alex and the gang are also under the influence of the new world.
Alex: Elle, what is it I'm supposed to be doing?
Elle: I don't know Alex.
Alex: Who's Alex? Are you cheating on me Elle!
Elle: What's an Alex? What's an Elle? Who are you?
Alex: I don't know.....Who are you?
Elle: I don't know.......I need a name.
Alex: So do I.
Elle looks at the shops on display.
Elle: I'll call myself Walmart.
Alex: Well I'll be......*looks at watch* Rolex.
Elle: Nice to meet you Rolex, I'm Walmart.
Alex: Nice to meet you Walmart, I'm Lacoste.
Elle: But I thought you were Rolex.
Alex: No, who's Rolex? Are you cheating on me Walmart?
Elle: What's a Walmart? What's a Rolex? Who are you?
Alex: I don't know, who are you?
Elle: I don't know.
Fitch comes along holding a doll.
Fitch: I left my daughter in my pants and she shrunk in the wash.
He pulls the doll's arms off and gives one each to Alex and Elle. Elle pulls down her pants and shoves the arm between her legs.
Elle: Now I'm like you Alex.
Alex: Who's Alex?
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Post by blacky on Dec 17, 2010 1:21:26 GMT
*Everyone is still high*
Alex: "Alright..............Who wants some?"
*He pulls out a gun*
Alex: "Who wants some? I am a fucking solider! Come on someone must want it!"
Elle: "I don't want some!"
Fitch: "I do! I'll have some! I'll have one please! I am on a diet!"
*Alex fires at Fitch but is too high to aim right and so misses*
Alex: "You dead yet?"
Fitch: "I don't know, am I dead?"
Elle: "I think you are"
Fitch: "Alright then,I am dead then"
*Alex reloads his gun*
Alex: "Right, who else wants some?"
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Post by Lolli on Dec 18, 2010 20:14:28 GMT
^Judge Holloway: I'll have some, I never get any!
Alex fires at her but once again he misses.
Alex: Are you dead yet?
Judge Holloway: I don't know I'll ask the doctor.
She turns to Fitch.
Judge Holloway: Am I dead doc?
Fitch: *Using a child's stethoscope* Hmm, I don't hear a heartbeat, I guess that means you're dead.
Judge Holloway: Okay, I'm dead.
She lies down on the floor, stock still.
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Post by Lolli on Dec 24, 2010 23:13:46 GMT
Josh, Laura, Little Walter and Cheryl are all wreaking havoc in Alex's house.
Alex: What have I told you lot about running around! Sit down before one of you gets hurt.
Josh: Or what?
Alex: Or so help me I'll do something I'll regret!
Later on. Alex is surrounded by the bodies of dead children.
Alex: I'm so bad at looking after kids. I don't know why I thought it would be a good idea to start a babysitting service.
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Post by Lolli on Jan 28, 2011 10:19:10 GMT
After the fight with Sepulcher, Alex falls down the hole.
Alex: ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!
He lands in a web.
Alex: Woah, what the....?
Spiderman: Everybody gets one.
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Post by dreggnog on Jan 28, 2011 11:11:35 GMT
A little robotic monster comes up to Alex's and bites his ankles.
Alex: "Ouch! What the hell was that!" (points gun) "Ok, it's not on my left, and it's not-"
Chomp!
Alex: "OW! Dammit! Okay, it's not on my other left, maybe I should check behind, no, it doesn't seem to be-"
Chomp!
Alex: "Jesus Crispies, this is why I hate first person shooters! Okay, maybe it's up in the sky shooting at me or somthing, no, oh I see it's on the grou-"
Chomp!
Alex dies.
GAME OVER
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Post by blacky on Feb 4, 2011 15:58:50 GMT
Alex: "This Laser Pistol is no help at all, I've been blastings monters left and right and all it's doing is improving their eyesight and curing them of Cancer!"
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