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Post by dreggnog on Jul 16, 2009 23:26:58 GMT
Alessa walks into one of the many bloodshed rooms in her twisted dream mind to find a trail of jelly beans leading around the corner. Since she's, you know, seven, she naturally begins to eat them. As she rounds the corner, Harry pulls a rope and Alessa is trapped in a doggie cage.
Harry: "Hey, Dahlia, I got her! I got the kid! Now tell me where my daughter is!"
Alessa: "Oh, the irony..."
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Post by Kiryū Kazuma on Jul 23, 2009 21:33:48 GMT
Harry and Cybil meet dhalia for the first time.
Dhalia "it was fortold............"
cybil "huh"
harry "dhalia huh whats going on with that dhalia?"
cybil "facepalm"
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Post by dreggnog on Jul 24, 2009 4:50:33 GMT
Harry walks into the bar and sees the monster on top of Dr. Kaufman.
Harry: "Oh my God, what are you doing!? That is disgusting! Jesus, Kaufman, I didn't know you were like that!"
Kaufman: "Please . . . Harry . . . please . . ."
Harry: "Oh, hell no! I'm not joining you! I don't go in for this kind of stuff! You, my good sir, are SICK!"
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Post by blacky on Jul 25, 2009 23:52:15 GMT
Harry (Enfield) Mason And chums *Harry and Kaufman are in a pub, each with a pint, in middle of a conversation*Kaufman: "I always love weeks off" Harry: "Well yeah, taking weeks off work is always good, no agrument about that, but what I really hate is when after you took time to get to somewhere and the place turns out to be shit" Kaufman: "Oh I hate that!" Harry: "I mean I have to put up with car trouble, the weather and my wingeing little daughter. And then when I get to silent hill I get harrassed by the friggin locals, who are trying to Devour my legs or some shit, then the damn reality goes tits up and everything starts looking like bloody Middlesbrough! I say, OI! SILENT HILL, NOOOOOO! I DIDN'T COME ALL THIS WAY TO PUT UP WITH REJECTS FROM 'JACOBS LADDER!' AND I AM NOT GOING TO FOLLOW THE ADVICE FROM A SENILE OLD HAG! IF YOU THINK THAT'S ALOAD OF FUN YOU CAN SHOVE IT UP YOUR ARSE! AND DON'T THINK FOR A MOMENT THAT I WILL STOP ON MY WAY THROUGH THE GIFT SHOP WHEN MAKING MY EXIT!"
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Post by dreggnog on Jul 26, 2009 5:29:04 GMT
Harry: "Oh my God, I'm at the final boss and I don't have any bullets! There must be another way to harm someone. Think, man, think! I've got it! . . . So, uhh, why did the chicken cross the road?"
Final Boss: ?
Harry: "To get to the other side!"
Final Boss: (roar of anger)
Harry: "Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? . . . It was dead!"
Final Boss: (screams and grabs head)
Harry: "Hey, come on, my jokes aren't THAT bad! Don't exaggerate! I've told you a million times not to exaggerate!"
Final Boss: (roars and starts crying)
Harry: "Hey, so two peanuts were walking down the street. One was assaulted."
Final: (falls to ground and dies angrily)
ALTERNATE ENDING
Harry: "And you know what the biggest joke of all is? Women's rights!"
Lisa comes up behind Harry and kicks him in the balls. Harry moans and falls to the ground.
Harry: "Damn it, Lisa, I had it! Now we're both gonna die!"
Lisa: "I don't care."
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Post by Lolli on Jul 26, 2009 15:54:09 GMT
Harry: *Looking at the doghouse* Probabaly a doghouse, though I'm not sure because there's no dog around.
10 years later Harry is sat in a therapist's office being interviewed.
Harry: And so that's when they decided to give me glasses.
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Post by dreggnog on Jul 26, 2009 16:49:29 GMT
Harry is listening to the song "I hope you dance" and twirling in slow motion, swinging the cat he found in the locker in circles. He accidently lets go, and the cat smashes through a window.
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Post by blacky on Jul 27, 2009 2:26:02 GMT
Harry: 'Have you seen a little girl? Short black hair and...........erm.............ugh.....That's all I can remember"
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Post by dreggnog on Jul 27, 2009 3:56:49 GMT
Harry runs into a brick wall. He takes a few steps back, and then does it again.
Harry: "Huh? Wall. What's going on with that wall?"
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Post by Blackdog on Jul 28, 2009 22:15:43 GMT
Harry: Cybil, I told the officer, that she's my daughter. He said it still wasn't appropriate and still illegal. So have you seen a little girl? Short black ha...
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Post by dreggnog on Jul 29, 2009 20:42:45 GMT
A fouth floor button appears. Harry pushes it. The doors open, and Harry steps out . . . and falls off the roof of the building and into the courtyard.
Harry: "Well, that didn't get me anywhere!"
ALTERNATE ENDING
The doors open, and Harry steps out . . .
Waldo: "You found me!"
Harry: "Ah, that was a tricky one! You are some kinda crazy bastard, ya know that!?"
Edit: Yay! Post number 50!
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Post by Kiryū Kazuma on Aug 4, 2009 0:00:13 GMT
what the hell how did i miss the last 2 on here lol
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Post by dreggnog on Aug 4, 2009 2:25:14 GMT
Harry finds a note in the alley.
TO SCHOOL
Harry: "Okay!"
Harry runs out of the alley. He looks confused, and scratches his head, then runs back into the alley.
SOUTHWEST, DUMMY
Harry: "Okay!"
Harry runs out of the alley, and then looks confused and scratches his head again, trying to figure out where west is. He looks up at the sun.
Harry: "Lets see, if it's midday and the sun rises in the uhh . . . west? east? dang, starin' at that thing hurts..."
A car pulls up in front of Harry. Mr. Yamaoka and Cheryl get out. Cheryl walks up to him.
Cheryl: "You got a map back at the cafe, you idiot. I know you do. You were'nt allowed to leave the cafe without it. We made it fool-proof. Idiot-proof!"
Harry: "I put the map in the jacket, and then the jacket on one uh da' birds, and now it's flying away."
Cheryl: (sighs) "Okay, here's a new map, and a compass for good measure."
Harry: "Hey, I think I was apposed ta be lookin' for you."
Cheryl: "Yeah, that's right. I'm at the school. You'll find me there. You gotta go southwest. You'll need three keys, and uhh, we'll you'll find a map that'll tell you where the keys are. Okay? Can you do that, Daddy?"
Harry: "Okay!"
Cheryl: "Good. You're doing a good job so far."
Cheryl and Mr. Yamaoka get back inside the car and drive away.
Cheryl: "How the hell is he supposed to understand the plot!?"
Mr. Yamaoka: "We won't explain it in this one. We'll wait until the third one."
Cheryl: "Yeah, okay. . . . Damn, he's dumb!"
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Post by blacky on Aug 7, 2009 1:28:47 GMT
*At the school..........*
Grey Child 1: "Have you seen Harry? He should come through here"
Grey Child 2: "No I haven't, where is he?"
*Harry appears in sterotypical teacher clothes, a Black Felt mortar board hat and a black gown*
Harry: "Shoulden't you be in class?"
Grey Child 1: "Sorry sir"
Grey Child 2: "Sorry sir"
Harry: "Don't let me cacth you out of class again? Okay?"
*The grey children walk off*
Harry: "Ha! Morons!...........Oh shit! I should be in class too!"
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Post by dreggnog on Aug 7, 2009 5:01:25 GMT
Harry finds a notepad in the cafe. 'Someday, someone may experience these bizarre events. Hopefully, they will find my notes useful.' He starts to write on it. Being a writer, he begins to script an epic narrative out of the first five minutes of the game, describing it to the last detail, smoking and drinking black coffee, throwing pieces of paper in the trash as he becomes more and more frustrated.
Two hours later, Cybil walks in.
Cybil: "Uhh, Harry, you kinda need to get started on the game now."
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