|
Post by dreggnog on Jan 3, 2011 14:48:00 GMT
* SH3 Heaven* Jesus: "Now Harry, you understand, everything here in Heaven is supposed to be perfect." Harry: "It IS perfect! I love it here!" Jesus: "Perfect for you, but not for everyone else. That's why we have these rules..." Harry: "RULES!? That's not perfect!" Jesus: "Well, if you follow the rules, everything will be perf-" Harry: "That's stupid! No! No! I don't wanna!" Jesus: (sigh) "This is why we seperated the young children from everyone else, he acts just like one of- hey, that gives he an idea." Jesus puts Harry in the section of Heaven with all the little children. Harry: "Hey, little kids! Just like the ones from when I was little who would beat me up and take my lunch money! Well, I'm bigger than you now! HAHAHAHA!" Harry runs around beating up all the little children. Little kids: "OWWWW! THERE'S NO PAIN, BUT IT'S STILL REALLY SCARY AND EMOTIONALLY DAMAGING!! OWWWWWWW!!!" God: "That's it, I'm casting him to Hell." Jesus: "But, but Daddy, he's not evil. He's just really really stupid." God: "Well, I'm startin to wonder if stupidity should be a sin after all. I CAST THEE TO HELL!!!" Harry wakes up in Hell. Harry: "Hey, this place isn't happy or fluffy at all! It's all emo and fiery and sharp and pointy and BAD!" Satan: "THAT'S THE IDEA!!! NOW WHO'S UP FOR A BLOODY ORGY!?" Harry: " . . . Orgy?"
|
|
|
Post by blacky on Jan 3, 2011 17:27:34 GMT
Satan: "Time for some Ironic punishment!"
Harry: "But I don't like Iron!"
Satan: "No Ironic, it means....bah nevermind! So you like to annoy people huh?
Harry: "Ohhhh I do, I do, I do!"
Satan: "Well then, can you bare to be annoyed by yourself?"
*Satan throws Harry into a room with hundreds of other Harrys*
Harry: "Hey, who are you?
Harry 54: "I am Harry, haha!"
Harry: "And who are you?"
Harry 80: "I am Harry, haha!"
Harry: "Hey, are all you guys Harry?"
All of Harrys: "Yes Haha!"
Harry: "Hahahahahaha!"
All of Harrys: "Hahahahahaha!"
Harry: "Hahahahahaha!"
All of Harrys: "Hahahahahaha!"
Harry: "Hahahahahaha!"
Satan: "This is going to harder than I thought"
|
|
|
Post by blacky on Jan 5, 2011 1:48:30 GMT
*In hell...*
Harry: "Hey Harrys! Lets start a Harry Mason Party!"
All The Harrys: "Yay!"
*Elsewhere....*
News presenter: "Scientists have recorded what sounds like music orginating from deep under the Earth's surface. Songs heard include 'I like big butts' And 'Y.M.C.A' Scientists are still trying to determine the source of these sounds."
|
|
|
Post by Kiryū Kazuma on Jan 6, 2011 1:30:00 GMT
lol funny as usual
|
|
|
Post by Lolli on Jan 7, 2011 19:50:46 GMT
In Hell.
Satan: There's Jack the ripper, that's Hitler bubbling in a vat of his own excrement, over there is Sadam Hussein.
Harry: What's that R.S.V.P. by the rack?
Satan: Ah, we've reserved that place for Stephenie Meyer.
All of Hell trembles at the mere mention of her name.
|
|
|
Post by blacky on Jan 8, 2011 2:20:15 GMT
Harry: "Hey Satan! Do you know you've got two dicks on your head?"
Satan: "They arn't dicks Harry, they are horns"
Harry: "So you would say your a very horny guy? hahahahahaha!"
Satan: "Be the lord of hell they said, It would be fun they said!"
|
|
|
Post by blacky on Jan 12, 2011 1:26:53 GMT
Harry: "Ooooohh, smells like Hell is having a Barbecue!"
*He walks towards the smell*
Harry: "ARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!! THEY'RE OUT OF HOTDOGS! AND THE COLESLAW HAS PINEAPPLE IN IT! AAAAAAGGGHHH!!! GERMAN POTATO SALAD! AAAARRRRGGHHHH!!! AARRRRRGGGGHHH!!!"
|
|
|
Post by Lolli on Jan 12, 2011 19:26:26 GMT
Heather is sitting in a visitors booth. Harry is on the other side.
Heather: Hi Dad, how's Hell going?
Harry: It's okay, the food's not bad and I've made a whole bunch of new friends.
Vincent, Lisa, Walter, Kaufman, Dahlia and Claudia all wave at her.
Harry: *Whispering* The chick with no eyebrows is freaking me out.
Heather: Look Dad, Satan can't keep up with your antics anymore so he's going to send you to Hades instead.
Harry: You mean like, that French place?
Heather: No, I mean that Greek underworld.
In Hades.
Harry: Are you James Woods?
Hades: No, I have told you a thousand times that I am not the same as the Disney character.
Harry: So you're not James Woods?
Hades: No.
Harry: Can't you at least change your voice to sound like him?
Hades: No!
Harry: ....................................................Do you know James Woods?
Hades: OH FOR THE LOVE OF ZEUS!
|
|
|
Post by dreggnog on Jan 13, 2011 11:53:56 GMT
Lisa: "Hey, why did I end up going to hell!?"
Satan: "Because you touch yourself at night."
Lisa: (embarassed) " . . . only a little."
|
|
|
Post by Lolli on Jan 25, 2011 21:14:50 GMT
Vincent is engrossed in a book, when, out of the corner of his eye, he spots Claudia. She is wearing overalls and has a paintbrush in her hand, dripping with stringy red paint.
Vincent: What are you doing?
Claudia: I thought the church could do with a good paint. I was getting tired of looking at the drab white walls.
Vincent peers over his glasses, eyes going wide as he sees the state the church is in. The walls are coated in a pulsating red skin, black globules burrowing beneath the surface.
Claudia: Just think, this is what it must be like inside the womb. This must be what God wakes up to every morning.
She drops to the floor, curling into a ball.
Claudia: Nurture me.
Vincent: What?
Claudia: I am a fetus.
Vincent: *Slowly backing away* Right, well, if anyone needs me I'll be hiding in the otherworld.
|
|
|
Post by dreggnog on Jan 26, 2011 0:35:27 GMT
^ Cluadia: "The Otherworld?"
Vincent: "Yeah, cause that's a HELL of a lot less creepy than being here with you is!"
|
|
|
Post by blacky on Jan 30, 2011 1:07:57 GMT
*In Hell...*Harry: "Why must you constantly poke my ass with a pitchfork?" Satan: "Because you are in Hell!" Harry: "It's not fair!" Satan: "Don't winge at me! I am not your wife!" Harry: "Fine! Be like that!" *Harry turns and takes two steps*Harry: "Wife, Why must he contantly poke my ass with a pitchfork?" Mrs Mason: "Shut up Harry!"
|
|
|
Post by Lolli on Feb 5, 2011 12:51:38 GMT
Heather is in the art gallery of the hilltop centre. She looks at a black and white photograph.
Heather: 'The Lighthouse,' What the hell sort of a title is that?
Henry: *Crying* Just shut up okay! It was one of my early works.
|
|
|
Post by blacky on Feb 6, 2011 21:07:34 GMT
Heather is in the art gallery of the hilltop centre. She looks at a black and white photograph.Heather: 'The Lighthouse,' What the hell sort of a title is that? Henry: *Crying* Just shut up okay! It was one of my early works. Heather: "And what is this one?" Henry: "I call it 'Raising The Flag" Heather: "Ewwwwww it's a picture of your penis!" Henry: "Yeah it is kinda phallic like in appearance" Heather: "No it' not phallic like, it is a phallus!" Henry: "It's not the form that matters, it's what it is an expression of!" Heather: "Noone wants to see you express yourself when your horny!" Henry: "You just don't understand it!"
|
|
|
Post by dreggnog on Feb 7, 2011 2:57:26 GMT
They move on to a picture of a nude Heather.
Heather: "Now this, this is art!"
People flock all around the painting. "It's wonderful!" "It's beautiful!" "It's so much better than Raising the Flag!" "It's not all hairy!" "It's not all Harry!" "It's not a penis!"
Harry: (mouth quivering) "No one understands my penis."
|
|