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Post by blacky on Dec 29, 2010 22:32:03 GMT
*When Harry beheld the great Lakeside Amusement Park, he reacted with awe.*
Harry: "Awwwwww."
*No, I said awe. A-W-E.*
Harry: "Ooooooooh."
*That's better*
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Post by dreggnog on Jan 3, 2011 15:16:10 GMT
Harry makes it to the lighthouse. The little girl disappears. He gazes around the glowing roof.
Harry begins running back and forth really fast.
Harry: "Yay I'm blurry! Yeeeeaaaaah! I'm having the time of my life!"
At the hospital...
Doctor: "Now are we sure we wanna take the drugs out of his system just yet? It sounds like he's having fun."
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Post by Lolli on Jan 25, 2011 22:12:20 GMT
Harry is at the police station, rooting through the weapon's locker. Cybil walks in and finds him.
Cybil: Harry, what are you doing? Why aren't you out looking for Cheryl?
Harry: *Pulling out a rifle and a shotgun* Oh this is great Cybil, look at all these weapons. Those monsters won't stand a chance now.
Cybil: That isn't how Silent Hill works Harry. Now put those guns back.
Harry: Pfft, no way, I'm gonna blast those dogs brains out.
Cybil: You're breaking the video game laws, put the guns back. You were never supposed to find those.
Harry: Awww why, they could come in handy later on.
Cybil: Just do it *points*
Harry does as he is told, but once Cybil turns her back, he dashes out the back door with the guns in hand. Suddenly the game crashes and the blue screen of death appears.
Cybil: Great, just great.
Harry: Well, look on the bright side, at least there's no monsters here.
The monsters pop into existence, all angry and all staring directly at Harry.
Harry: Oops.
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Post by blacky on Jan 27, 2011 1:59:11 GMT
*Outside the fog is really thick, so thick that noone can see anything*
Cybil's voice: "Harry? Harry where the fuck are you?"
Harry's voice: "I don't know! Where are you?"
Cybil's voice: "I not sure myself!"
Dahlia's voice: "Manchild? Manchild where you? Are you using that Flauros like I've asked to?"
Kaufman's voice: "Don't listen to what she says! Where ever the fuck she is!"
Harry's voice: "Hey Cybil is that you in front of me? Feels like you, the breasts feel right"
Cybil's vocie: "Where ever you are, that's not me!"
Harry's voice: "Ewwwww I think I've just toucthed Dahlia!"
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Post by blacky on Feb 2, 2011 1:30:50 GMT
*Harry is talking into a payphone*Harry: "So what are you wearing?.........what flavour?...........Really?" *Cybil walks up to him*Cybil: "Harry........" Harry: "Oh about six inches.........three inch round" Cybil: "Harry..........." Harry: "Well I like to dress up as a clown first........" Cybil: "HARRY!" *Harry turns to Cybil*Harry: "What is it, Cybil?" Cybil: "You know the phonelines don't work" Harry: "Sssshhhhh! not so loud! He'll hear you!' Cybil: "Who?" Harry: "The Harry from Shattered Memories! I want him to think I can make phone calls too!" Cybil: "So rather than looking for your own daughter, you rather spend hours on end at a payphone pretending to be talking to someone on a sex line just to make the other Harry think you can make calls?" Harry: "Sssshhhh! musique is about to give me her personal number!" Cybil: "
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Post by blacky on Feb 9, 2011 2:11:32 GMT
*Harry is still at the payphone*Harry: "Ring Ring!" Cybil: Harry: "Ring Ring!" Cybil: Harry: "Ring Ring!.........Oh the phone is ringing! Jeez I am popular today!" Cybil:
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Post by blacky on Feb 22, 2011 23:02:29 GMT
Harry: "Cybil I thought it was fair to tell you I won't need your assistance anymore" Cybil: "Harry, I am the only reason your still alive" Harry: "Well not any longer because you have been replaced!" *Harry reveals an manniquen dressed up in an Police outfit*Cybil: "And that's an improvement over me because?" Harry: "She doesn't complain about anything I do...............and she has bigger breasts!" Cybil: "Fine, if you feel thats so important!" *Cybil leaves Harry*Harry: "So Plastic Cybil, want to get acquainted with the dark allys of the town heh heh heh?" *The Manniquen slaps Harry in the face*Harry: "Oh and she's feisty too!" Manniquen:
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Post by blacky on Mar 6, 2011 3:38:49 GMT
*The school phone start ringing*
Harry: "Hello?"
Cheryl: "Daddy, where are you? Your taking your time finding me!"
Harry: "Well I would be there as fast as I can, but you see I can't at the moment, because........erm.........I............My Mother has fallen into the strawberry pacth! So my hands are quite fall at the moment, see you later."
*He puts the phone down*
Harry: "Harry Mason you are one smooth talker"
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Post by blacky on Mar 10, 2011 20:53:06 GMT
In a world where everyone in a tight suit is trying to squash your fun of wall licking, who is left to prise all the doorknobs off everyone's doors in order to stop the advancement of my arch nemesis while trying to get high without paying? Find out in the the surprising adventures of me, Sir Harry Harrold Mason!'
*Harry is trying to talk to an merry go round*
Harry: "Well I've been here for two hours and this horse and his friends arn't going to tell me anything, no sense of trying to integrate further"
*A monster appears*
Harry: "Aha! an secret informer! Brillant disguise may I say! What's the word?"
Monster: "SSSSSCCREECCCHHHHH!"
Harry: "Of course! It's so simple! Thanks for the password!"
Cybil: "Harry! What are you doing? Find Cheryl already!"
Harry: "Look out informer! Here comes one of my arch Nemesis hench men! Quick attack him and steal his weapons!"
*Harry tackes Cybil, steals her pepper spray runs off to the tune of Devil's Galop*
Harry: "At last I have my arch nemesis' secret body building formula!"
*he sprays the pepper spray into his eyes*
Harry: "Yeah! I feel it working! Noone can stop us now!"
Will the secret formula help me defeat my nemesis?, will I get a quick shag off the sexy informer? Or will I finally solve the mystry as to where has my secret stash of yellow socks has gotten to? find out next week in 'The surprising Adventures Of Sir Harry Harrold Mason!'
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Post by blacky on Mar 14, 2011 21:31:08 GMT
*The last scene with Lisa, she tries to find comfort with Harry, he panics and pushes her away, she starts bleeding all over her face*
Harry: "You are lying! I never hit you! You are tearing me apart, Lisa!"
*Harry runs outside the room and closes the door*
Harry: "She's lying, I did not hit her! I did not!"
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Post by Lolli on Mar 16, 2011 16:37:52 GMT
After discovering Lisa had an affair with Kaufman.
Harry: I kill you, you bastard!
Kaufman: You couldn't kill me if you tried.
Harry: You betrayed me... you that good... you, you're just a chicken, chirp-chirp-chirp-chirp, cheep, cheep!
He falls to his knees dramatically.
Harry: Everybody betrayed me! I fed up with this world!
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Post by dreggnog on Mar 16, 2011 21:46:24 GMT
(I had to retype all of this, BACKSPACE DOESN'T FUCKING MEAN GO BACK A PAGE!!!) Harry is sitting on the sidewalk, crying. Cybil finds him. Cybil: "Awww, what's wrong?" Harry: "No one wants to have sex with me." Cybil: "Oh! Umm, I-" Harry: "They always either kick me in the balls, or spray me with pepper spray, or it turns out they have penises." Cybil: "Look, I don't think that I can-" Harry: "Oh sure, just break my balls like all the rest! You know, balls are all a man has! We don't have feelings like you women!" He says this through his tears. Cybil: "Siiiiigh. Hmm, you know what? I think I know just the perfect gal for ya!" Harry: "Really!?" Cybil: "Wait right here." Minutes later... Cybil: "Here she is! She's sharp as a tack, comes with her own protection, and will jump anything with a pulse! Says her name is Pyrina!" Pyramid Head in a dress: "Hiiiii." Harry: ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... "HE'S PERFECT!!! OMG I JUST CAME TWICE!!!"
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Post by blacky on Mar 18, 2011 4:53:48 GMT
Pyramid Head: "Harry, are you ready for sex yet?" Harry's voice from the bathroom: "Almost done!.......There I am ready!" *Harry comes out wearing an superman outfit, dorky glasses, a bicycle helmet and a honk horn with his barefeet emerged in an tub of potato chips* Pyramid Head: "What the fuck?" Harry: "All board that's going aboard, I've got potato chips between my feet!" *Harry jumps onto the bed and starts honking his honk horn while shouting bingo*Harry: "BINGO! *honk* BINGO! *honk* BINGO!" Pyramid Head: "Can we at least do it without the honking?" Harry: "You know perfectly well that without the honking, nothing happens!" Pyramid Head:
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Post by Lolli on Mar 21, 2011 20:11:23 GMT
Nine Months Later.
Harry: *Holding baby Cheryl* It's a girl, I'm so happy!
Pyramid Head: *In hospital bed* So, how are you going to explain this to her?
Harry: Hmm, I guess I'll just tell her you died when she was little.
Pyramid Head: Fair enough.
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Post by blacky on Apr 14, 2011 0:06:02 GMT
Harry: "Darling! Darling! You'd never guess what!"
Pyramid Head: "What is it, Sweetie?"
Harry: "The baby is talking!"
Cheryl/Pyramid Hybrid Abomination: "I WILL EAT YOUR SOUL!"
Pyramid Head: "Awwww isn't that cute?"
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