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Post by blacky on Sept 24, 2011 1:58:09 GMT
James: "maria, you're alive?"
Maria: "I am not dead yet I can dance and I can sing I am not dead yet I can do the Highland Fling
I am not dead yet No need to go to bed No need to call the doctor Cause I'm not yet dead."
Monsters: "She is not yet dead That's what the women said No, She's not yet dead That James is off his head
She is not yet dead So put her back in bed Keep her out the grave because she's not yet dead."
*Pyramid Head comes along and stabs Maria and she dies*
James: "Well now She's dead You stabbed her on the head Sure, now She's dead It makes me just see red You are such a turd To murder that ol'e bird You homicidal bastard, now she's really dead"
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Post by blacky on Sept 25, 2011 21:25:58 GMT
*Pyramid head and an army of nurses are working their asses of at ALL-STAR'S pizza*
Nurse: "Why are we baking pizzas?"
Pyramid Head: "If we keep laying a load of pizzas about, Eddie will eat them and retain his overweightness, we can't have him working those pounds off. If he no longer a fatass, then he can't get paraniod about people making fun of him!"
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Post by Lolli on Sept 27, 2011 20:16:00 GMT
Lakeview Hotel Guestbook.
To whom it may concern, I am very displeased with the quality of your service and shan't be staying here again. The entire building leaks and when it's not leaking it's on fire!
The other day, as I was passing through the kitchen to complain about my meal, I found tins of lightbulbs being served to the customers. This is unacceptable!
Also, there is an unusual odour coming from room 312. I think something has died in there and suggest you investigate it immediately. Furthermore, that giant pyramid thing keeps sticking his spear up my night dress. Kindly desist him in his perversions or I shall have to alert the pervert prevention squad. I do not appreciate his unwanted advances.
He makes a right racket when doing the dirty too. It keeps me awake at night.
Yours enfuriatingly, Lolli.
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Post by blacky on Oct 8, 2011 0:55:17 GMT
*The silent hill monsters are in protest*Monsters: "BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT BULLSHIT!" Pyramid Head: "Oh what is it now? I am missing out on good sexual harrassment time here!" Nurse: "We demand an Lunch break!" Pyramid Head: "You've got an Lunch break!" Nurse: "That doesn't count as an Lunchbreak! The only one here that likes your "Lunches" is Nasty Nikki" Nurse Nasty Nikki: "I like the warm feel I get in my belly when he fills me up........" Pyramid Head: "Oh that girl is going to be allowed second helpings" Monsters: Nurse Nasty Nikki: "YAY!"
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Post by blacky on Oct 12, 2011 1:48:57 GMT
*Pyramid head is alseep and snoring loudly*Nurse 1: "Is he asleep?" Nurse 2: "Yes, now be very gentle now...." *Much Later.....*Pyramid Head: "Now James! Ready for more torment!?" James: "Ugh.......you have got something on your face" Pyramid Head: "What?" *He pulls out a mirror and sees that he has cute and girly magnets stuck to his metal helment of an face*Pyramid Head: "Oh they are so dead!"
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Post by Lolli on Oct 31, 2011 19:40:31 GMT
Maria: What did you get for Halloween?
James: Some tic tacs, a lollypop and a packet of flavoured condoms.
Maria: Who gave you them!?
James: That guy over there.
Pyramid Head: Like I'm going to have candy.
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Post by dreggnog on Nov 1, 2011 14:58:52 GMT
Why did Pyramid Head cross the road?
He was raping the chicken.
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Post by blacky on Nov 2, 2011 5:34:37 GMT
Why did pyramid head cross the road?
Because he likes it both sides
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Post by blacky on Nov 7, 2011 21:34:01 GMT
*Eddie goes to rent a movie*
Eddie: "Can I have 'An Inconvenient Truth' please?"
Shop Keeper: "Okay, You are fat because you eat too much"
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Post by alx on Nov 8, 2011 1:06:02 GMT
Also, refuse to pay actual money for your non-existant room when the hotel was destroyed years ago... Lakeview Hotel Guestbook.To whom it may concern, I am very displeased with the quality of your service and shan't be staying here again. The entire building leaks and when it's not leaking it's on fire! The other day, as I was passing through the kitchen to complain about my meal, I found tins of lightbulbs being served to the customers. This is unacceptable! Also, there is an unusual odour coming from room 312. I think something has died in there and suggest you investigate it immediately. Furthermore, that giant pyramid thing keeps sticking his spear up my night dress. Kindly desist him in his perversions or I shall have to alert the pervert prevention squad. I do not appreciate his unwanted advances. He makes a right racket when doing the dirty too. It keeps me awake at night. Yours enfuriatingly, Lolli.
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Post by Lolli on Nov 27, 2011 2:11:08 GMT
^Indeed. I fear I may never see the end of Debbie Does Dallas now ;_;
Eddie: It doesn't matter if you're smart, dumb, ugly, pretty. It's all the same when you're dead! And a dead man can't laugh.
Ghost: I can.
Eddie: Quiet you.
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Post by blacky on Nov 30, 2011 19:25:03 GMT
*The Rebirth ending, James rides the boat towards the middle of the lake with Mary's corpse in tow*
James: "When your out on the lake with a wife that won’t wake That's amore When she is stone dead cause you killed her in bed That's amore"
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Post by shade on Dec 4, 2011 0:56:56 GMT
James: "Decorate a sleeping Eddie, Fa la la la la, la la la la. wrap the tinsel round his belly, Fa la la la la, la la la la. change his cap for a paper hat, Fa la la, la la la, la la la. Put a candle onto his lap Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Change his top for Santa’s real fast, Fa la la la la, la la la la. Stick a candy cane up his ass Fa la la la la, la la la la. Parade him around the city, Fa la la, la la la, la la la. Stick some lights between his titties, Fa la la la la, la la la la.
If the guy begins to waken, Fa la la la la, la la la la. To the smell of smoking bacon, Fa la la la la, la la la la. Tell him that he looks damn festive, Fa la la, la la la, la la la. Run like hell, he’ll get aggressive Fa la la la la, la la la la."
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Post by Lolli on Dec 8, 2011 17:25:39 GMT
Pyramid Head Was a jolly happy soul With a great big knife And some undead hoes And a very erect pole!
Pyramid Head Was a ladies man they say With a thrust, thrust here And a thrust, thrust there He could rape and rape all day!
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Post by Lolli on Dec 12, 2011 19:09:37 GMT
Pyramid Head: This Christmas tree looks a little bare. I think it needs more balls.
Nurse: We're working on it.
Pyramid Head: Well you're not working fast enough!
Nurse: What do you want us to do? You've taken the balls of every man in town.
Pyramid Head: Then go out of town and fetch me some.
Nurse: But...
Pyramid Head glares at her.
Nurse: Fine....
Moments later.
Nurse: Here.
She shoves Justin Bieber in front of him.
Pyramid Head: Did I, or did I not, ask you to fetch me some balls.
Nurse: I just did.
Pyramid Head: No. You didn't. Nurse: Well what should we do with it?
Pyramid Head: Shove it in the cupboard. It'll make a good Guy Fawkes.
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