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Post by blacky on Apr 26, 2011 1:21:02 GMT
*Henry is trying to sleep in bed, without warning all the female cast characters march in from the cupboard and start singing and prancing around the bed*Eileen: "Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis?" Cynthia: "Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong?" Heather: "It's swell to have a stiffy." Claudia: "It's divine to own a dick," Maria: "From the tiniest little tadger" Mary: "To the world's biggest prick." Angela: "So, three cheers for your Willy or John Thomas!" Cybil: "Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake," Dahila: "Your piece of pork, your wife's best friend," Alessa: "Your Percy, or your cock." Lisa: "You can wrap it up in ribbons." Elle: "You can slip it in your sock" Pyramid Head in a dress: "But don't take it out in public, Or they will stick you in the dock, And you won't come back!." *They then walk back into the cupboard, disapearing as strangely as they appeared*Henry:
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Post by Lolli on Jun 7, 2011 20:40:04 GMT
Henry: *Holding a can of beans* Can you cook this for me? My parents aren't home and I'm not allowed to use the stove.
Richard:......Well....okay. I suppose I could do that.
One hour later.
Henry: *Lay in bed* Read it to me again.
Richard: I've already read it to you five times!
Henry: P-l-e-a-a-a-a-s-e.
Ricahrd: Fine.
He begins reading My Little Pony once again.
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Post by Lolli on Jun 13, 2011 21:35:16 GMT
Henry: Come on Eileen, I swear well he means At this moment you mean everything, With you in that dress my thoughts I confess verge on dirty Ah come on Eileen.
Pyramid Head cums on Eileen.
Eileen: Eww, what the hell?
Henry: I didn't mean literally.
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Post by blacky on Jul 9, 2011 15:53:31 GMT
Jasper: "SHIT BASTARD CRAP CRAPPITY CRAPPITY FUCK FUCK FUCK!"
Walter: "What is he doing?"
Henry: "Ever since he saw that film. 'The King's Speech' Jasper has been trying the tecniques used in it in order to fix his own stutter"
Jasper: "BUGGERY!"
Walter: "Well can you tell him to tone it down? He is becoming a bad influance on little Walter"
Little Walter: "What does Buggery mean?"
Walter: "Never you mind! That man is saying naughty things! Just wait here, I'll sort it out"
*Walter walks slowly towards Japser with a flame thrower*
Jasper: "BOLLOCKS SHIT ARSEHOLE FUCK SHIT ............ARRRRRRGGGGHHHHH! IT BURNS! OH IT FUCKING BURNS! YOU BASTARD!"
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Post by blacky on Aug 15, 2011 22:22:06 GMT
*Henry has taken the time to visit the bathroom while in the dreamworld with Eileen...*
Henry: "Bastard Condom vending machine! I've paid five dollars and I want my Condoms! Give me my condoms!"
*Eileen walks in to find out what all the noise is about, Henry doesn't see her behind him*
Henry: "Give me my condoms! I wanna do it and do it with my next door neighbour!"
Eileen: "What did you just say?"
Passing monster: "He said he wanted to do it and do it with his next door neighbour!"
*Eileen punches Henry in the face*
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Post by blacky on Aug 21, 2011 0:24:25 GMT
Eileen: "Henry, I am so lonely, please take care of me"
Henry: "What?"
Eileen: "Henry! I want you! I want you now!"
Henry: "Hang on, this is another of my dreams isn't it?"
Eileen: "Why, because otherwise I woulden't be attracted to you?"
Henry: "No, Because Adolf Hitler has just appeared behind you wearing a thong"
Adolf Hitler: "Guten Tag!"
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Post by blacky on Aug 26, 2011 16:28:51 GMT
Walter: "You ghosts have allowed Henry and Elieen to escape again! Thanks for nothing guys!"
Richard: "It was a rousing chase!"
Andrew: "And it reminds me of a song!"
*Cynthia, Jasper, Andrew and Richard start doing an squatting dance, squatting up and down*
Richard: "We're a band of vicious ghosts!"
Jasper: "As anyone can see!."
Cynthia: "When you hear our gentle singing,"
Andrew: "You'll be sure to turn and flee!" Walter: "Oh, this is just ridiculous, Come on, We've got to kill them!
Ricahrd: "We are mad and raving, Our mouths are foaming Phlegm!"
Jasper: "We're a club of tuneful rovers!"
Cynthia: "We can sing in every clef!"
Andrew: "We can even hit the high notes!"
Richard: "It's just too bad we're tone deaf!" All together: "A undead I was meant to be! Float around and drink Coffee!" Walter: "Let's go and find my mom!"
Richard: "We have sweaty pits and we have hairy palms!" Japser: "We're all killing spirits."
Cynthia: "A gang of blood thirty mugs."
Andrew: "To fight us off you don't need guns!"
Richard: "Just really good ear plugs!" All together: "A undead I was meant to be! Float around and drink Coffee!" Walter: "All right guys, let's get to work!"
Richard: "Our vocation is a thing we love, a thing we'd never shirk." Jasper: "We'll chase you through the waters."
Cynthia: "We'll chase you on land."
Andrew: "But when you meet singing ghosties,"
Richard: "They'll be more than you can stand."
All together: "A undead I was meant to be! Float around and drink Coffee!" Walter: "Stop! Stop! Stop!"
Richard: "I am a misable bastard and Andrew is a slob!" Walter: "You say you're nasty dead, scheming little trackers? From what I've seen I tell you you're not ghosts! You're just slackers!" All together: "A undead I was meant to be! Float around and drink Coffee!" Walter: "We'll surely be energetic if we eat an orange."
Richard: "And......um...Well..."
Jasper: "Door hinge?"
Cynthia: "No, no..."
Andrew: "Guess the song's over, then."
Richard: "Guess so"
Walter: "Well, I feel a little guilty, now."
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Post by blacky on Sept 6, 2011 3:07:19 GMT
*Henry and Eileen are traveling through Walter's worlds, but Henry keeps walking into the walls all the time*
Eileen: "What are you doing?"
Henry: "The player keeps making me do it!"
Blacky: "Ah sssshut it! I am playying finne!"
Henry: "Oh god, Blacky has made a silent hill 4 drinking game!"
Eileen: "Damn it Henry! Why did you have to say "What the hell?" so many times?"
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Post by Lolli on Sept 7, 2011 22:32:27 GMT
Walter: Once the 21 Sacrements are completed, me and my mother shall finally be reunited.
Eileen: What's he on about?
Henry: He thinks room 302 is his mother and he wants to get inside.
Eileen: He wants to get inside his mother?
Henry: Yup.
Eileen: The dirty incestuous bastard!
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Post by Lolli on Oct 11, 2011 20:56:36 GMT
Eileen: Are you playing The Sims?
Henry: Yeah.
Eileen: Is that you?
Henry: Yeah.
Eileen: What are you doing?
Henry: Sitting on my couch, watching the TV.
Eileen: The TV isn't on.
Henry: I know.
Eileen: Who's that?
Henry: Walter.
Eileen: What's he doing?
Henry: Smashing my head in a cupboard door.
Eileen: Do you sit here and play this all day?
Henry: Yeah.
Eileen: Go outside Henry!
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Post by shade on Dec 6, 2011 2:21:48 GMT
Henry: "I wish you would let me outside I wish you would let me outside I wish you would let me outside Been stuck here for five days. I want to see mom, I want to see dad I want out for Christmas and I'm stuck in this Pad
I wish you would let me outside I wish you would let me outside I wish you would let me outside and I want out right now There's cat in the fridge, my shoes are bleeding No hauntings on Christmas come now I am pleading
Jimmy's here and I don't like him Jimmy's here and I don't like him Jimmy's here and I don't like him He's much too dead for me. I don't like dead guys, Don't like them at all I don't like dead fellows and there's one in my wall
I wish you would let me outside I wish you would let me outside I wish you would let me outside Been stuck here for five days."
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Post by Lolli on Dec 23, 2011 18:58:59 GMT
Two men knock on Henry's door. They are wearing black suits and shades.
Henry: Hello?
Man #1: We're looking for a Henry Townsend. You heard of him?
Henry: May I ask who's asking?
Man #1: We're from the Church of Samael, brother to the Church of White Claudia. We'd like to have a word with him about becoming one of our sacrificial lambs.
Eileen: Who's at the door?
Henry: Some men from the Church of Samael. They want to know if I'd be interested in becoming a sacrificial lamb.
Man #1: We offer free health care.
Man #2: And free entry into our Christmas raffle.
Henry: What's the prize?
Man #1: A demonic posession!
Henry: Hmmm......
Eileen: No.
Henry: But--
Eileen: No!
Henry: Aww.
He reluctantly shuts the door.
Man #2: Oh well. You win some you lose some.
Man #1: Who's next on the list.
Man #2: A Mr. Harry Mason.
The two men smile knowingly at each other.
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Post by shade on Jan 21, 2012 0:33:46 GMT
Henry: "What the hell, What the hell That's what I always say, What the hell, What the hell Don't show fear any other way What the hell, What the hell, The writters had an early day because What the hell, What the hell, Is all they made me say
When I see the dead rise before me You'd think I would scream and shout but I don't do any of those things you see these words are all I spout
What the hell, What the hell That's what I always say, What the hell, What the hell Don't show fear any other way What the hell, What the hell, The writters had an early day because What the hell, What the hell, Is all they made me say
It's all that they made me say"
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Post by Blackdog on Feb 4, 2012 0:19:37 GMT
The Room: Now be a good boy Walter and do what Mommy tells you.
Walter: Yes mommy!
The Room: WALTER! how many times have I told you. No pets!
Walter: Awww mom. He's called Henry and he's cute I wanna keep him!
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Post by Lolli on Feb 20, 2012 23:49:38 GMT
Walter: It is time to complete the 21 sacrements.
Henry: I don't wanna.
Walter: Oh come on.
Henry: No.
Walter: Please.
Henry: No.
Walter: I'll be your friend ;_;
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