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Post by blacky on Nov 8, 2010 21:40:14 GMT
Prince Charles: "Grrr, who letted all the commoners in?"
Queen Elizabeth: "No Charles no, those are not commoners, thoses are Parasitic Worms"
Prince Charles: "My word, Ewwwwwww! what-what?
Queen Elizabeth: "Yes Charles, One thinks it's time to write another letter of complaint to the man upstairs"
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Post by dreggnog on Nov 10, 2010 21:21:46 GMT
Alessa begins floating in the air and transforming the town into Otherworld.
Travis runs up and punches her in the face. In the blink of an eye she is knocked down and the entire town turns normal.
Alessa begins sobbing loudly. Travis glances around nervously, then turns around and quickly runs away.
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Post by Lolli on Dec 18, 2010 20:27:38 GMT
Silent Hill high.
Travis is playing Operation.
Travis: Help, this man is dying!
Kaufman: Stand back, I'm a doctor.
He takes the tweezers from Travis and removes the Charley Horse.
Kaufman: Ah, the source of the problem is a tiny horse.
Travis: Does that mean there's a field of tiny ponies living nearby?
Kaufman: Maybe, let's go look for them.
Travis looks at the Operation board.
Travis: But what about him?
Kaufman: *Placing a white sheet over the board* There's nothing we can do for him now.
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Post by dreggnog on Jan 3, 2011 14:59:36 GMT
Travis goes through the mirror into the Otherworld. He looks into the mirror, there's no reflection. He scowls and looks around.
Travis: "Hey, anyone here!?"
Travis goes into the bathroom, Other Travis is sitting on the toilet.
Other Travis: "Damn it, can't a man take a crap around here!? I'll go into the mirror when I'm done!"
Travis: "Oh, okay."
Other Travis: "Now get out, this is really awkward!"
Travis: "Why? That's my stuff!"
Other Travis: "It's still awkward!"
Travis: "Hey, wait a second . . . Your penis is bigger than mine! That's not fair! How the hell does that work!?"
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Post by blacky on Feb 8, 2011 0:05:53 GMT
*Travis was minding his own business when he is surronded by the entire American miltary*
Soliders: "FREEZE! FREEZE DO NOT MOVE!"
Travis: "What's going on?"
Soilders: "DROP YOUR PANTS! DROP THEM! DROP THEM NOW! DROP YOUR PANTS!"
Travis: "Okay, Just don't shoot me!"
*He drops his pants and the soliders aim their rifles at Travis' ass*
Soilders: "ALL RIGHT! WE KNOW YOUR IN THERE! COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP!"
Osama Bin laden: "Fine, fine. You got me!"
Travis: "Well I guess he was bound to be somewhere!"
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Post by dreggnog on Mar 16, 2011 21:59:38 GMT
Two years later...
Travis is driving his truck and spots a little girl running into the road.
He steps on the accelerator.
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Post by Lolli on Mar 21, 2011 20:26:27 GMT
Travis is sneaking around in the woods. He has his hunting rifle with him. Bugs bunny pops out of the trees and Travis takes aim, blowing his head off.
Suddenly he awakens in his truck, parked up at the road side. Alessa is tapping on his window with an irritated look on her face.
Travis: Oh, I was having such a beautiful dream! Why did you have to wake me. Oh, I wish I hadn't become a trucker.
He eyes the bobble head Elmer Fudd on his dashboard, and a single tear falls from his eye.
Travis: I guess it just wasn't meant to be.
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Post by Lolli on May 8, 2011 10:03:19 GMT
News reporter: We are here with Travis Grady, who had first hand experience with the world's most notorious terrorist, Osama Bin Laden. So Travis, tell me, where exactly was Bin Laden hiding all this time?
Travis: In my anus.
News reporter: And we've been told that his living quarters were so horrendous, that no pictures of your anus can be revealed as they are far too gruesome.
Travis: Yes, that is correct.
News reporter: In fact, when they finally yanked him out, he was so mangled and maimed that he was barely recognizable.
Travis: Some people compared it to giving birth backwards.
News reporter: And we've also been informed that millions of grateful people from across the globe have created a facebook page dedicated to your arse.
Travis: It's also been given a medal, and this lovely basket of tropical fruit.
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Post by blacky on May 9, 2011 22:33:50 GMT
Alessa begins floating in the air and transforming the town into Otherworld. Travis runs up and punches her in the face. In the blink of an eye she is knocked down and the entire town turns normal. Alessa begins sobbing loudly. Travis glances around nervously, then turns around and quickly runs away. *Travis is minding his own beeswax, when Alessa comes round the corner holding the hand of the Butcher*Alessa: "He's the one! he's the one that made me cry!" Bucther: *pissed of grunt* Travis: "Why does every kid I punch have an psycho to cry to?"
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Post by blacky on Jul 15, 2011 0:29:48 GMT
*Travis makes a stop at an gas station*
Attendant: "Where are you off to?"
Travis: "Taking a shortcut through Silent Hill"
Attendant: "Silent Hill huh? Well you are going to need a flashlight! heres one for Fifteen dollars"
Travis: "Erm........Okay"
Attendant: "Also you are going to need a radio, Twenty Dollars"
Travis: "It's okay, my truck has a radio"
Attendant: "No seriously, you will need this radio!"
Travis: "But it doesn't even work!"
Attendant: "All the better, you'll see"
Travis: "Okay you werid person!"
*Travis pays for the items and leave*
Assistant: "Boss, why didn't you just warn him not to go to Silent Hill?"
Attendant: "You kidding me? I woulden't make half my profits if I didn't sell my Silent Hill survival kits!"
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Post by Lolli on Aug 6, 2011 19:46:22 GMT
Lisa: Travis, how come you don't have a girlfriend?
Travis: Well.......
Flashback.
Denise: Mum, Dad, this is Travis.
There's a huge bulge down his trousers resembling a TV.
Travis: Hi, pleased to meeet you.
Denise's Dad: Is...Is that our television?
Flashback end.
Travis: It never seems to work out.
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Post by blacky on Aug 7, 2011 0:19:14 GMT
*Travis spots a televison and promptly shoves it down his pants, an electric shock goes through his body*
Travis: "Note to self, unplug the televison before putting into pants"
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Post by blacky on Aug 23, 2011 3:04:19 GMT
Travis: "This situration calls for my old trusty rifle!"
*He reaches into his pants, gets a grip of what he thinks is his rifle and pulls hard.......he then collapses in pain*
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Post by shade on Dec 24, 2011 14:17:46 GMT
Travis: What's in my asshole today? You'll look and I'll turn away. Now that I've asked, open my ass. What's in my asshole please say!
Alessa: "It's a ginger beard"
Travis: "Ginger beard, now you've appeared, why must you haunt me this way? Ginger beard, you make me feel weird, I have got nothing to say "
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Sindaiin
Nurse
Lakeside Amusement Park Curator
Posts: 206
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Post by Sindaiin on Jan 19, 2012 1:31:59 GMT
Travis is driving throught the county road and comes to a fork. He contemplates which way to go as he fast approaches.
Let's see... going straight is the fastest way there, but I've made good time. I can afford the sceneic route.
He makes up his mind and takes a left.
"I heard Raccoon City is nice this time of year."
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