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Post by Lolli on Sept 7, 2011 22:46:30 GMT
M...Minge dribble Claudia: You will birth God! Heather: Like hell I will. Claudia: There is no way to stop this. Heather: Oh yeah? I'll show you. One hour laterHeath: I've had a sex change and my womb has been removed. I'd like to see you impregnate me now. Claudia: Ever seen the Arnold Schwarzenegger film Junior? Heath: No. Claudia: You're about to live it.
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Post by blacky on Sept 9, 2011 2:59:13 GMT
M...Minge dribble Claudia: You will birth God! Heather: Like hell I will. Claudia: There is no way to stop this. Heather: Oh yeah? I'll show you. One hour laterHeath: I've had a sex change and my womb has been removed. I'd like to see you impregnate me now. Claudia: Ever seen the Arnold Schwarzenegger film Junior? Heath: No. Claudia: You're about to live it. *Harry dives in from nowhere, apprantly now a women*Harriet: "Don't worry heathcliff! I'll save you!" Heath: "Dad, don't call me that.......and why have you become a women?" Harriet: "You became a boy so I've come to save you!" Heath: "Yeah but why become a women?" Harriet: "I haven't thought this through have I?" Heath: "No"
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Post by blacky on Sept 14, 2011 0:05:07 GMT
*Heather and Douglas are almost to silent hill, their car is stoped by Pyramid Head*
Douglas: "What what what!? What's the hold up!?"
Pyramid Head: "I am afraid there is a toll to pay to enter silent hill, outrageous the toll and all"
Heather: "Ah damn it, here!"
*She gives Pyramid head a dollar*
Pyramid Head: "What the fuck am I surpossed to with this? It's me Pyramid Head! You very well know what toll I am talkin about!"
Heather: "Ah jeez"
*Heather starts to down her skirt*
Pyramid Head: "Not you, you pregnant trollop! I am talking the stud muffin you are traveling with!"
Douglas: "This happens everytime! Why the hell do I keep coming back to this town!?"
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Post by blacky on Sept 17, 2011 1:12:26 GMT
Pyramid Head: "Men men men men, manly men men men!"
Valtiel: "Oooooooooooooohhhhh!"
Pyramid Head: "Men men men men, manly men men men!"
Heather: "Men men men men, manly men, oo hoo hoo, hoo hoo, oooooooooooooooh!"
Pyramid Head and Valtiel: "Men men men men, manly men men men! Men men men men, manly men men men! Meeeeeeen ..."
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Post by blacky on Nov 8, 2011 15:49:55 GMT
Heather: "Claudia at last I've tracked you down! It's curtains for you! Curtains!"
Claudia: "Yes! let your hate flow!"
Heather: "Oh yes, curtains! Curtains for you!"
Claudia: 'Yes Yes Yes!"
Heathers: "Curtains!"
*Heather produces a pair of curtains out of nowhere and plomps them onto Claudia*
Claudia: "Awwww they are adorable.......hang on a minute!"
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Post by Blackdog on Nov 9, 2011 20:57:15 GMT
Pyramid Head: hey Dougy I want you. Right now!
Douglas: That's It. THAT'S IT!
-Throws Blacky at Pyramid Head-
Pyramid Head: Ooooh new toy.
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Post by blacky on Nov 24, 2011 20:23:29 GMT
*When the rare event of an Silent Hill forum poster having pysical contact with an Silent Hill character came to happen, a strange thing occured. Blacky melded with Pyramid head and became a brand new being all together*
Black Pyramid: "Okay that was just werid.......What do I do now?.......For some reason I have an urge to rape female ghosts from horror films and write jokes in a certain Silent hill forum thread!"
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Post by shade on Dec 5, 2011 20:39:03 GMT
It's the time of year When cultists will become friends No more glares or sneers Pubs they will attend Claudia will laugh Vincent will then smile As Claudia then starts to barf She'll do it for a while
Oh, Wolf and Vince, Wolf and Vince Getting Christmas on Praising God, killing poor sods Starting night and end at dawn Oh, Wolf and Vince, Wolf and Vince Happens once a year They get along, sing some songs And get drunk on fifty beers
The snow starts to come down The two will go inside Slip into their night gowns Be seated side by side When Sunlight fills the air The horror they will find That they are in bed fully bare Their genitals entwined
Oh, Wolf and Vince, Wolf and Vince The fun is broken up It's back to spite, they will fight Hope Claudia's not knocked up Oh, Wolf and Vince, Wolf and Vince Last night they will deny They will try, to hide with lies When Vincent went up wolf's thighs
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Post by Lolli on Dec 8, 2011 17:35:47 GMT
The split worm bursts out.
Douglas: That thing's almost as big as Pyramid Head's penis.
Heather: That IS Pyramid Head's penis!
They both run away screaming.
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Post by Lolli on Jan 8, 2012 23:54:41 GMT
Group therapy day.
Heather: I found out I was pregnant. It wasn't planned. I'm not even sure how it happened. Whenever I think about it, I feel dirty and violated.
Dr. Kaufman: Was it rape?
Heather: Not quite. Maybe. I'd say it's more of a hypothetical rape.
Claudia: Well perhaps you shouldn't wear your skirts so short.
Heather: Are you saying it's MY fault I was hypothetically assaulted?
Dr. Kaufman: Well, she has a point. Wear some pants, don't leave the kitchen, perhaps take up agoraphobia.
Claudia: Look at me, I always dress sensibly. Take my advice, it works.
Harry: *Cocks shotgun* Who the hell got my little girl up the duff? Come on, tell me. There's a shell with your name on it.
Cybil: Not only is that gun upside down, it is also the wrong way round.
Harry: There you go again, always putting me down.
Cybil: I'm not putting you down, I just--
Harry: I don't want to hear it!
Vincent: I only came for the free booze. Where the fuck is the wine?
Douglas: Anybody want to buy some fish. Please. I could really use the extra cash.
Pyramid Head: Not after last time. That salmon you sold me was rotten.
Douglas: Rotten?
Pyramid Head: Yeah, take a look *unzips pants*
Boogeyman: Will you stop that, how many times must I tell you!
Pyramid Head: Piss off.
Boogeyman: Excuse me!
Pyramid Head: Piss. Off. Harry: That's it. I've had it up to here with you, one more word out of your mouth and I'll--
Cybil: You'll what? Hit me with your purse?
Harry: Pfft, no, that thing was expensive.
Heather: Doctor, everyone is fighting, what should we do!
Dr. Kaufman: How should I know? I'm not even a real doctor.
James comes in.
James: IT HAPPENED AGAIN!
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Post by shade on Jan 11, 2012 3:36:04 GMT
Vincent: That figures. He's a pretty sneaky guy.
Heather: Don't talk about my dad like that!
Vincent: "Why not? He is sneaky, he is sneaking behind that couch right over there in fact!"
Heather: "Dad?"
Harry: "Don't blow my cover, I hiding so Claudia won't find me and kill me!"
Vincent: "Hiding out in a part of the game he isn't surpossed to be in, i told you that guy is sneaky!"
Solid Snake: *Hiding Under Vincent's desk* "Hardly, all he is doing is slithering about on his belly!"
Heather: "What the? Is there any other people hiding in here that I should know about?"
James: *In a wardrobe* "Well yeah"
Henry: *On top of the wardrobe* "Of course!"
Travis: *Under the rug* "But do not tell anyone!"
Heather: "Okay I am tottaly weirded out, so I am going"
*Heather leaves the room*
Alex: *In a dark corner* "Awww we were that close to having a girl hide in the room with us!"
Murphy: *Under a disgarded blanket* "Sssssshhhh be quiet you fool!"
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Post by Lolli on Jan 21, 2012 19:33:07 GMT
Harry: Cheryl, from now on your name is Heather. That way the cult will never find us.
Heather: Okay, so what name did you pick?
Harry: Pardon?
Heather: What are you called now?
Harry: Oh, I didn't change my name.
Heather: But if the cult want to find us, won't they just look up Harry Mason?
Harry: Nah, they won't think of that.
Heather: But-
Harry: Everything's gonna be fine.
Later.
There is a knock at Harry's door.
Harry: Hello?
Missionary: I've been sent by the cult to kill you.
Harry: How the Hell did you find me!?
Missionary: I just googled your name.
Harry:.......Shit.
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Post by shade on Jan 31, 2012 22:30:46 GMT
Douglas: "hey Heather!"
Heather: "Douglas? Arn't you supposed to be checking the hopsital?"
Douglas: "Well i thought it would be better if I came with you"
Heather: "I don't need your help"
Douglas: "Aw come on, I'll be alot of help, I am an ace with the stun gun!"
Heather: "Hey that's my stun gun! Give it to me!"
Douglas: "Pardon?"
Heather: "I said give it to me!"
Douglas: "Alright"
*Douglas electrocutes Heather with the stun, the sudden voltage going through her body causes Heather to shit herself*
Heather: "You bastard! I have to change my pants now!"
*Later on Heather and Douglas faces Leonard*
Heather: "Douglas, there's water everywhere. It's too risky to use the stun gun. So give it to me!"
Douglas: "Alright"
*Douglas electrocutes Heather with the stun again, and she shits herself all over again*
Douglas: "This is a fun game!"
*Even more later on, the final against Claudia*
Heather: "Right Douglas, HAND me the stungun!"
Douglas: "Ohhhhh, HAND you the stun gun!"
Heather: "Yes, HAND me the stun gun"
*Douglas hands Heather the stun gun*
Heather: "Right, how do you turn it on?"
*She tries turning it on, a freak current electrocutes Heather, and she shits herself for the third time*
Claudia: "What I don't get is, why everytime she tries using the stun gun she has to go and crap herself?"
Douglas: "I think it's some kind of deep subconscious desire to amuse"
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Post by shade on Feb 6, 2012 2:11:22 GMT
*Heather is wacthing tv, Harry comes in from work wraped in a clear plastic sheet*Heather: "Dad, what the hell?" Harry: "It's my new disguise so that the cult won't find us!" Heather: "And how is disguising yourself as a condom supposed to work?" Harry: "No, you see with this sheet over me they won't see my distinct features" Heather: "Dad, the sheet is see through! And if anything putting that on will make you stick out even more" Harry: "Oh well, that's why I got a back up disguise!" *Harry goes into his room and comes out in a trench coat, fake glasses and moustache and a hat*Heather: "Now you look like someone trying to disguise himself" Harry: "So it works then?" Heather: "Dad, a disguise is supposed to make you blend in" Harry: "Well this will make me blend in when you put yours on!" Heather: "You got me the exact same suit?" Harry: "Yeah! The cult isn't going to try to make you give birth to a God if they think you are a man!" Heather:
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Post by shade on Feb 6, 2012 18:15:05 GMT
*Douglas is searching about town during his investigating, he sees two strange people who appear to be both disguised in trench coats, fake glasses and mustaches and hats*Douglas: "Scuse me, I am looking for this household? under the name Harry Mason?" Strangely dressed person 1: "Harry Mason? I don't know where he lives but I know he is one dead sexy hunk and as smart as paint" Douglas: "Erm...And who are you exactly?" Strangely dressed person 1: "I am.................Mr Not Mason" Strangely dressed person 2: "You idiot!" *the second strangely dressed person slaps the first one round the head*Douglas: "Okay, and who's this other guy?" Strangely dressed person 1: "That's...........................Heathcliff" Douglas: "Heathcliff?" Strangely dressed person 1: "Yes..........He's my freind, we wear the same stuff" Douglas: "He looks like a teen girl dressed up as a man" Strangely dressed person 1: "Well he...........is gay, we both are! but obviously I am the macho one" Douglas: "Gay?" Strangely dressed person 1: "Yes, Come on Heathcliff, give me a kiss!" Strangely dressed person 2: "I am not kissing you!" Strangely dressed person 1: "It's alright Heather, nothing wrong about kissing someone!" Strangely dressed person 2: "Heathcliff" Strangely dressed person 1: "Who?" Strangely dressed person 2: "Heathcliff, my name is Heathcliff remember?" Strangely dressed person 1: "Oh sorry Heathcliff, I called you by the name of that really hot Heather Mason girl. Damn she is hot, I'll so hit that" Strangely dressed person 2: Strangely dressed person 1: "Oh don't be like that Heather, it's okay! We arn't related by blood and your almost of age. It's perfectly legal!" *The second strangely dressed person punches the first one out so hard that it leaves him dazed*Strangely dressed person 2: "Don't listen to him. He is mentally ill. Come Not Mason, we are going home" Strangely dressed person 1: (dazed and confused) "Macho, macho man, I've got to be, a macho man" Douglas: "Hmmm, I wonder if those two were using fake identities?"
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